friendly troubles

[zledm007]

ok, so my friend (and i really do mean my friend, this isn't one of those things where you say it's your friend but in factit's really you) who is not a harry potter fan (actually he hasn't read any of the HP books -or many other books for that matter- I am working on that by the way) has this thing wit htis girl. ok, so theres this girl, just graduated high school, one year older than my friend, we'll call him pete, and the two of them dated for a little more than 4 months during the school year, then she, we'll call her victoria, broke up with pete, well, sort of a mutual thing pete says (he's watvhing me type this) and in petes year book she wrote that they needed to talk and they hadn't been talking much so pete was a little curuis as to what it meant. (naturally he came directly to me) anyway, his questions were answers soonly when they did in fact talk. she said she wanted to have some fun this summer before she went to college and she had the most fun with him. so they got back together, well not really, more like friends w/ benefits if you know whjat i mean, and they've been "together" for about a month now and pete is looking for a little comitment. the problem is however, they had sort of agreed ant the beging of all this (and i heard this personally as i was listening to the phine call, only petes end of course) that they would see waht happens for the two months before victoria had to leave and then break it off. they went into it knowing this so the theory was that neither would be too dramatically hurt, of course there would a little hurtfullness as could only be expected, but that still hasn't happened yet so anyway... so now, as i said before, petes looking for some commitment between them and doesn't know how to bring it up in conversation. (and either do i, well, actuall i told him she'd bring it up but he's not the most patient guy in the world.) any ideas would be greatly appreciated by both pete and I. (mostly so he quits bugging me about it.) he's also looking for an answer in his favor, but you can't ever really garentee (sp?) anything. any incite would be the coolest!

oh, and one more tiny itsy bitsy little detail. the college she's going to is out of state and i'm guessing about a 4 to 5 hour drive. pete says he wouldn't mind driving there, i don't know, he thought you guys needed to know that.

[Gwared]

A 4 or 5 hour car drive is pretty much North to South England so that's pretty far. Not that I'm saying these long-distance relationships can't work. I had one that was a 4-6 hour train journey for 3.5 years of a slightly less than 5 year relationship. OK so it didn't work out in the end but curiously it fell apart when we got closer together (a 1.5hr train journey).

It sounds to me like your friend is being led by this woman, she's used him (ok he was willing) over the summer to enjoy herself but doesn't want to commit because she wants to continue enjoying herself when she goes to college (if you catch my drift), and not rely on what would be a very long distance relationship.

[Gryffindor Student]

I hate to say it but i think Gwared is right (intersting name ) Anyway, I think a commitment so soon could be dangerous. i had a long distance relationship before but when they moved back here, they were having too much fun goggling at the popular 'sluts' and broke up with me. Me I'm not popular, I am the freak, the goth-like person, the outcast, loner. I hate popular ppl so that upset me a bit. Anyway tho, it sounds like she might enjoy being away and she will be there with those college boys as i guess you could say. It will hurt your friend ('pete') Tell him to take it easy for now. Impatient as he may be, tell him he could end up getting hurt in the end. Just dont make a commitment just yet. Just see where the relationship goes for a while, Even after she goes to college. If she starts to get distant. Start to worry. That is the advice I have..at least for now. Good Luck to your friend. Best Wishes. And dont get hurt!

[zledm007]

i was afraid of that. it really surorises me though because from even the little bit that i know her, she doesn't seem like someone that would do that. of couse i'm not her so i guess i really don't know do i? oh, and shiekan warrior, or gryffindor student or whoever you are now i think the plan was to break it off before she left, but i could be mistaken.

[Meg Boyd]

whoa, sorry, i couldn't help reading this, and wow i would like to say Pete and Victoria are really great names for these people (i guessed right away...oh well)

I am very disappointed in Victoria, but honestly if Victoria is who I think she is, I've known her for a long time and she doesn't seem like Scarlet Woman type, you know...and I feel horrible for Pete, but the best thing is honesty and does Victoria know how Pete feels? Maybe if Pete shared these feelings with her, Victoria can see what she is doing wrong by leading poor Pete on...oh well...just wait, I prolly misinterpreted the names and they aren't who I think they are...so oh well)

[zledm007]

you know meg, you probly got them right. no gaurentees though. anyway, Pete's worked through things and has decided (I think) to forgo the commitment idea. (for now anyway) (he may change his mind again) thanks from pete to all who responded, well all 3 anyway.

[Meg Boyd]

hehe...this one is old...well for all of those hanging on the edge of your seats Pete and Victoria lived happily ever after, together through the 4 hour difference...hehe