Broomsticks And Owls

by **Aberforth** » Thursday 26 February 2004 4:14:45pm

Dudley: How many presents are there?
Vernon: 37. Counted 'em myself.
Dudley: 37? I got 37 last year. I want 5 this year!

Snape: There will be wand waving and silly incantations in this class.

Hagrid: I'm talking this secret to the grave!

Snape: Let's just take it easy since its the last lesson before christmas.

Flitwick: I'll kill you all

Cho: Cedric who?

Crabbe/Goyle: The square of the hypotenuse i equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides.

Dumbledore: I really don't trust Severus Snape.

Fudge: Sorry about that whole forcing you out of Hogwarts thing Dumbledore.

by **Jotomicron** » Thursday 26 February 2004 5:38:18pm

Voldemort: Listen, all my DE. This is no time to fight! Let's all be peaceful and live in Harmony...

Bellatrix (dancing): Lala lala lala!!! I love Muggles!

by **AngelicS_89** » Thursday 26 February 2004 8:56:59pm

Dumbledore:Harry you're an idiot and I don't belive you a word,you're expeled!

Hermione:Let's break some rules!

by **angeloffire13** » Sunday 12 December 2004 11:46:59pm

::Mr. and Mrs.Weasley walk out after Harry and Ron leave in Ford Angelina::
Mr. Weasley: Dude, where's my car?

McGoganall: Fo Shizzle My Nizzle!
Students: Right...

by **angeloffire13** » Sunday 12 December 2004 11:51:29pm

Marcus Flint: I feel pretty, Oh so pretty

by **thestral** » Tuesday 14 December 2004 9:03:19pm

(Voldemort and Dumbledore face each other bleeding and battle wearied Voldemort lifts his wand to strike as Dumbledore's heart finally gives out)

Voldemort: hey actually what's so great about about world domination i mean think of all the phonies and i mean all people ever give me for christmas is severed heads, you know what i would really love? a nice pair of socks!

Dumbledore: nuh uh!!! ME TOO !!! people always give me books, like hello i've solved the mysteries of alchemy do they really think there is anything i don't know?!!!? the stupid b******s!

Voldemort: and you know what i saw in the mirror of erised? socks! socks saved the world! magical things you know. and by the way i was a huge fan of the book you wrote on alchemy "ten ways to resurrect the human body". soooo much help in restoring me to my former beauty, couldn't have done it without you! and your tips on kepping the colour in your skin really helped.

Dumbledore: REALLY??!! i saw socks too, no-one has ever saw socks before! you must be my soul mate!!! and by the way, glad to help with the skin how do you think i stay so perky? you do look much better. less pallid, more evil.

Voldemort: you are so sweet!!! embrace me now and hold me to your bosom my brother!!! (sob, sob)

Dumbledore: (sobbing) OHHHHH VOLDIE!!!! WAHHHHH!!!! (whimpers) stroke my beard... ohh right there that's soo good

Voldemort: ohhh it's so soft, what conditioner do you use?

Dumbledore: Loreal elvive on sale on superdrug, 2 for 1 you know works out cheaper than boots. damn scam artists.

(dumbledore kicks harrys obliterated body out of the way as the walk off into the sunset)

Voldemort: oh yeah, sorry 'bout killing harry there in a brutally horrific manner hope you don't mind?

Dumbledore: nah, he was a pain in the ass anyway. every damn year he would mess something up and come to my office crying about it. i'd make eyes twinkle in a benign manner he'd feel reassured go off home and come back and foul everything up all over again. needy really, huh he strutted about like he was something special and i'll tell you what if you hadn't have done it, i would have! so thanks old buddy old pal, i owe you one!

Voldemort: don't mention it. hey, i'll sic my deatheaters on fudge if you want i know he's a right pain in the arse, hell i've had to bribe him for 20 years!

Dumbledore: Ahh this is only the beginning old friend, we have so much work to do.....

(stirring atmospheric music as they walk off silhouetted by the dying sun)

by **Mistress Siana** » Wednesday 22 December 2004 2:29:04am

*rolls on the floor laughing* That was hillarious. Conditioner! Yeay!

Snape: Help! There's a house-elf party in my shower!

by **thestral** » Saturday 25 December 2004 8:42:00pm

do you think snape showers? he's always greasy! :lol:

by **LightwitchHP88** » Saturday 25 December 2004 10:42:21pm

Shadow wrote:(This one is like one that my sister did for LotR. Of course, I have made it so it goes with Harry Potter)

Voldemort to Harry: Luke, I am your father.

Harry: Okay, thais can't be, because first of all, my name is Harry, not Luke, and second of all, you blew my father up about 11 years go.

Voldemort: Ahh, but you have no proof that I killed your father.

Harry: Oh, but I do. You see, we had a security camera at one time, and Dumbledore was smart enough to make a video of it.

Voldemort: Drat! turns to another kid Luke, I am your father.

Kid: Dude, my name's not Luke!

Voldie: Drat! finally finds Star Wars and Luke Skywalker (to Luke) Luke, I am your father.

Luke. Okay, I am really confused now, because the guy over there wearing that freaky loking black costume just told me that he was my father, so maybe you two should talk.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Shadow on 2002-07-19 18:54 ]</font>

((the "Luke, I am your father" one)) HAHA, Lmao, Good one!!

Hermione to Ron: I love you.

Snape: Turn to page 213...were learning about butterflies today...

by **Tanuki** » Wednesday 12 January 2005 4:06:06am

Neville: Wanna rock scossors paper for who gets to fight the bad guys?

Ron: Sure

by **DragonFiend17** » Sunday 13 February 2005 2:42:28am

Draco:(to crabbe and goyle: i want to thank you guys for sticking it through with me.

by **Un'Anima Persa** » Sunday 13 February 2005 2:54:34am

Crabbe to Goyle: Do i look fat??
Goyle to crabbe: no, of course not, that diet must really be working for you... but i really need to watch my figure...

by **DragonFiend17** » Saturday 19 February 2005 2:16:38am

Draco: Watch out Harry!!! A Bludger is coming in right behind you, DUCK!!!!

by **mizzie** » Tuesday 17 May 2005 2:55:51pm

Hermione: Okay, you do it like this....Bend....*proceeds to bend down*....AND SNAP!*snaps up*

Neville: Oh, I GET IT! LIKE THIS! *Proceeds to do the bend and snap*

-

Snape: *washing his hair with Herbal Essences shampoo* Oh, YES!

-

Hagrid: Yum....Harry....must....eat....

-

Hagrid: Okay, now we release the Dragons!

-

Dumbledore to McGonagall: That new lip gloss of yours tastes so good, Minerva!

-

Hagrid: Yo, Dumbledore!

Dumbledore: Yes, Hagrid?

Hagrid: You suck!

-

Sirius: Hello!? Can someone help get me outta here? It's dark under this big black sheet....and there are a bunch of ghosts....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-

Lupin: That's it class! None of you are talented in the Dark Arts at all! Proceed to be eaten! *Suddenly and magically turns into a werewolf*

Class: Uh-oh....

-

Harry: Ron, why do you have lipstick all over your face? Were you kissing Hermione again?

Ron: No! Harry, this is the latest fashion!

Harry: ....

-

Luna: And then all of the Blibberish Bloogles will come and eat us until the Firey Brain Cell Cheetas take our left overs and proceed to destroy the world....

Hermione: Oh, tell me more, Luna! Pretty please?

mizzie♪♪

by **Tanuki** » Tuesday 17 May 2005 4:10:48pm

Dumbledore: Well... now we're buggered

Harry: What!

Broomsticks And Owls

Things the HP Gang would never say

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