Moving out

[Evil Wizard Petting Zoo]

My friend Amanda and I have been looking for apartments lately. We're going to the University here in Alabama and we've found a really nice townhouse for like $445 a month. Amanda's parents don't really care about her moving out, but I haven't broken the news to my parents yet. My parents wanted me to stay at home for my first year of college, they don't think I'm mature enough, they think I'm going to be partying all the time and drinking and doing drugs or something like that. But I'm past that stage in my life and I think I'm financially and emotionally stable enough to move out of my house and handle college, work, and Amanda. Another thing, my parents don't like Amanda because we always got in trouble together. But we've both changed and we haven't done anything wrong in a year, so I think we've both matured in the last 6 months. I'm just scared that my parents are going to be like "NO YOUR STAYING IN THIS HOUSE" then that will make me angry and tend to say things like "IM 18 I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HECK I WANT" and I don't want to say that. My parents haev always been really good to me and I don't want to ruin our relationship. My parents are also the biggest worry warts about me. So if anyone knows how I can break the news to my parents about moving out and that Amanda is one of my best friends and we've both changed, lemme know.

[Alice I]

There is something you should know about parents:

They will love you no matter what you say or do. That is unconditional love. You are 18 years old so they really can not stop you from moving out but you do not want to alienate them either.

I suggest that you sit down with your parents and tell them what you have said here.
You feel that you have matured and that Amanda has also.
Tell them that you feel ready to move on with this new challange in your life and that you would like their support and that if you felt like you had gotten in over your head down the line you want to be able to ask for their help.

If drugs and other things were a problem in your past then you need to assure them that they are no longer a part of your life. (Only say this if it is true.)

If Amanda has been a person who has led you into trouble in the past explain to your parents that the relationship you have with Amanda is important to you and you are smart enough to make the right decisions even if they are contrary to what your best friend wants. (Again only say this if you are willing to stand up to your best friend and say NO when you know you should)

If you approach your parents openly and intellegently they will love and respect you. They will help you to realize your dreams because they are your parents and that is what parents do.

[Mint]

to add to Alice's post, you can tell your parents that they have to trust you on this one, that you will prove to them that you will spend your time studying instead of going to parties nonstop.

To tell u the truth you parents do have a reason to be woried. During my first year in college Majority of students Do go crazy. Professors dont check ur homework, or dont even give you any and students dont realize that they have to learn on their own, start attending parties every week and fail their exams >_<.

Also, you can tell ur parents that at the beginning you will come for weekends, and that they can visit you ^-^

[Athena Appleton]

I agree with what Alice and Mint have said.

The thing is, you have to be sure you're ready for this (and look beyond the "Gosh, it'll be cool!" thing to the bill-paying and neighbor-respecting thing).

Most importantly, in this talk when you're trying to tell your folks that you're a responsible adult, act like a responsible adult. There's nothing more pathetic (and I know, because I've been this pathetic) than trying to get your parents to see what a responsible, mature adult you are by pulling a temper tantrum that makes a 2-year-old look like an angel.

This is the first of many, many, many adult disagreements (assuming there'll be a disagreement... your parents may suprize you) you'll have to work through in a mature fashion. Speak clearly, compassionately (after all, you don't know what it's like to be a parent who wants the best for her child), and calmly, and then back up what you say by your actions. If you say you'll come home on weekends, come home on weekends. If you have a self-enforced curfew on school nights, be home by that time. If you say you won't party, or drink, or do drugs, don't do those things. In time, your parents will come to respect you as an adult.

Regardless, though, you're still their little girl, and you should be prepared for them to come at the situation from that angle.

Good luck!

[Broccoli]

So have you talked to your parents, EWPZ?