Harry Potter and the Last of the Blacks

[bellatrixblacklestrange]

I hope you like it. I promise I will post more if someone does

The title is above- Harry Potter and the Last of the Blacks
This is the subtitle-Wizard's Divided

Here's the story ... well chapter one for now

CHAPTER ONE
******************
War Plans

Imagine a world only a select few of the population knew of. Where occupants of this world were in realization of what the head of their people had been covering for most of the previous year. The most awful, terrible and evil person, who had ever inhabited this world, whom had once been called Tom, had indeed been alive and restored back to the height of his power, was exposed in the June of last year. When the person he most feared had alerted the appropriate members of their government of his return. This man who made it happen was Albus Dumbledore.
He, at this moment was pacing his study at the school where he was headmaster, lost very much in his own thoughts. Albus Dumbledore was a very old man. He had a long white beard which was so long it could have been tucked into his belt. His hair was the same colour, though with streaks of silver running through it, silver eyebrows and a very lined face. Deep pale blue eyes which were now covered in half moon spectacles. Which were set on top of his extremely crooked nose.
It was very early in the morning. Dumbledore pulled a watch out of his pocket, consulted it and stood waiting anxiously. He was wearing a dark blue dressing gown covered with large, silk embroided, white stars, a matching nightcap and a pale blue nightshirt. At this moment his train of thought and concentration were momentarily stopped by the emergence of six people who had suddenly appeared in his study.

*

‘At last you have arrived’ cried Dumbledore.
‘I sent Fawkes to you hours ago’
‘We have been busy helping the ministry, Professor Dumbledore’ replied a balding, middle aged, red-haired man.
‘Yes Arthur, I am sure you have. Would you all please sit down’
At that moment six squashy arm chairs appeared suddenly out of nowhere and landed on the floor in front of Dumbledore. The six people sat whilst Dumbledore put a thing long piece of wood back inside the pocket of his dressing gown.
‘Now that you are here I have information for you’
Five heads all nodding in unison came, all different from the next.
‘Alastor, Arthur, Mundungus, Nymphadora, Remus and Severus, I each have an assignment for you all. Now that Cornelius’ attitude towards me has changed, we may be able to persuade more people to join the Order. Since I believe we need many people who will understand what we are trying to do and who will accept the truth that has been held before us for over a year now. I feel that this task should be filled by someone who would do a magnificent job, I would like you to have this assignment, Arthur.
‘Alright Professor Dumbledore, but may I ask a question about my task? ’ replied the man who had been addressed as Arthur.
‘Yes you may Arthur’ replied Dumbledore
‘Why do you think I would be the best person for the job, Professor Dumbledore?’ inquired Arthur
‘Arthur I am extremely delighted you asked that question. Well Arthur I think you are the person who, has the best judge of character of most people and you respect people and creatures from all, walks of life. This is why I felt you suited the post well Arthur. Now could I please ask you to go home right now to Molly and your children and I will contact you in the morning about what I would specifically like you to do.’
Arthur Weasley stood up from his chair and walked towards the door. He opened it and departed.

*

Dumbledore’s attention was now focused on the five remaining occupants sitting in his study. He looked particularly at one man who was dozing in the chair he was sitting in, curled into a ball, much like a cat.
‘Mundungus?’ Dumbledore spoke loudly and sharply.
The sleeping man, who was short, had straggly ginger hair and blood shot eyes jerked awake and gave a start at the sound of his name.
‘Now that Mundungus had decided to let his mind and eyes wander towards us we may continue and he will also be informed of our plans’
‘I’m sorry Dumbledore, sir I was just tired I ... ’
‘You were probably pondering what sort of trouble you might get in from the next deal or business opportunity you will make. Now Mundungus I would like you to find out what sort of equipment we could purchase for our cause. I will give you a list of what we shall need and you can see about acquiring the supplies.
‘Yes Dumbledore, sir I can get ... ’
‘Mundungus Fletcher! I would like you to do this properly. No deals. No swindling or Cornelius might find out or worse, Voldemort’s followers’ an exasperated Dumbledore responded.
‘Yes Dumbledore, sir’ replied Mundungus in a somewhat beaten voice.
‘Go home and go to bed I will also contact you in the morning with a list of supplies. Good luck Mundungus’
Mundungus gave a short wave to show his thanks as he reached the door and was gone quite quickly.

*

Four people remained in Dumbledore’s study. Alastor, Nymphadora, Remus and Severus.
Nymphadora Tonks who was sitting in a chair looked the most odd out of all of them. With a heart-shaped face, white-blonde hair that hung just pass her shoulders, wearing black and white striped robes, torn and ripped Jeans and a red t- shirt, was sitting very quiet and subdued and Dumbledore was in no doubt why. Her cousin had been killed just weeks ago at the end of May by another of her cousins. Alastor Moody was also there he didn’t look odd on arrival but when he had entered Dumbledore’s study he had removed his bowler hat and revealed his electric blue false eye which was quite odd indeed, as it could see through solid objects.
‘Alastor and Nymphadora I would like you two to go ... ’
‘Tonks’ said Nymphadora very quietly.
‘Yes, sorry, Tonks. I’d would rather call you Nymphadora, your name, but as you do not like your name, Tonks will be what you will be called by. I would like you and Alastor to go to the Ministry in the morning and tell Cornelius I will be there about 10 o’clock after I have seen to Arthur and Mundungus to talk about the future and plans he may have. I would like you to find Hagrid, then go and see Arabella Figg about the matter we discussed the other day.
‘Yes Dumbledore and would you like us to contact you about our results when we are done.’ asked Moody.
‘No it’s fine Alastor, I’ll be in touch with you soon’
Alastor Moody and Nymphadora Tonks rose from their seats. Moody shook Dumbledore’s hand then also headed towards the office door Tonks didn’t do anything at all, she just followed Moody outside. Dumbledore turned and looked at one man in particular. He was sitting very quiet and subdued also. He was also looking very sick and pale as there would be a full moon shortly.

*

‘Remus I would like you to go back to Grimmauld Place and ... ’
‘Professor Dumbledore I really do not want to be back there, I do not like being there anymore, not after what happened … ’
‘I understand Remus but where are you to go then?’
‘I would like to go back to my own place for the time being please, Professor Dumbledore’
‘Very well. Remus I will talk to you also in the morning about what we discussed yesterday’
‘Thank you Professor Dumbledore’
Remus Lupin stood up and shook Dumbledore’s hand and left through the door to the study. Dumbledore watched until Lupin had closed the door and couldn’t be seen any longer. It was now very early in the morning the sun was beginning to extricate itself from the blanket of night and light rays of pale gold were seeping into the atmosphere. Dumbledore then turned back to the last person still there.

*

‘Severus, I need to resume the same work you were doing for the order last year. Are still up to the undertaking of the task?’
‘Yes headmaster.’
This man had dark shoulder length hair, a long, hooked nose, sallow skin and cold, dark eyes. Still wearing his trademark sneer. This man’s name was Severus Snape.
‘I have a question Headmaster’
‘Yes Severus’
‘I would like to know what we are going to do with Potter?’

[Paul]

Really good stuff - and an interesting cliffhanger already! I'm intrigued too about what Dumbledore has been discussing with Mrs Figg and Lupin. Please do write more.

[bellatrixblacklestrange]

thankyou very much pau and i will post more soon!

[bellatrixblacklestrange]

sorry paul!

[Selenia]

keep writing bellatrix! I found it very interesting!

[Mistress Siana]

I'd really love to know how this goes on! I like the opening sentence, very good idea I think. There's always the feeling in the air that something is about to happen.
But I think you should bear in mind that you write the story for people that already know Harry Potter quite well (otherwise they wouldn't read fanfiction ), and the very detailed descriptions of the characters' appearences take some of the suspense away you otherwise manage to build up very well. At least that's my opinion...
Keep writing!

[bellatrixblacklestrange]

I'll bear that in mind.

CHAPTER TWO
*******************
Return to the Burrow

Several hours later the boy with the surname of Potter woke up feeling as though he wanted to go back to sleep and never wake up again. He rolled over in his bed, his bright green eyes wide open and lay there for a while thinking.
This boy was the sole reason for the man once named Tom to return. As a baby this boy had something happen to him, something very strange. The man once called Tom was now called Voldemort and he was feared by many still in the magical world, in which these people live.
Voldemort wanted to kill the Potter boy when he was just a baby. He went to the Potter’s house and he killed the boy’s father and went after the boy. His mother protected him; she sacrificed herself for him and left a valuable protection. Voldemort then proceeded to kill the baby but it backfired and Voldemort had disappeared and the baby boy became Harry Potter: The boy who lived.
However over a year ago this boy witnessed Voldemort’s return once more and alerted certain people. His declaration was met with open hostility and provocative remarks, until he was proven right mere weeks ago.
Harry Potter sat up and closed his eyes he had been thinking about what Dumbledore had explained to him last year and still couldn’t grasp the concept. He was wondering how lucky he was to be fifteen years, almost sixteen years old. He had almost died at the age of one but his mother’s sacrifice had been Harry’s ultimate protection. When his parents died he had come to live with his mother’s sister. His mother’s sacrifice had provided protection for him that ran through Harry’s blood. Dumbledore had the decision as to where he should go and chose Harry’s dead mother’s sister and the blood they share. His Aunt Petunia had taken Harry in and sealed the connection so Harry was in no danger whilst in her care.
However Harry thought his life was not in danger until recently. Last year was Harry’s fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was tricked by Voldemort and lured to the Ministry of Magic and into the Department of Mysteries where Sirius Black his godfather, trying to save Harry had been killed by his own cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange.
Harry felt like his world had been turned upside down by the death of his godfather and that he couldn’t go on. Harry has.

*

Harry got out of bed, dressed and went downstairs, where he found the three Dursleys sitting around the table. His Uncle Vernon was reading his newspaper and looked up from it at Harry as he sat down. He looked like he was going to say something to Harry but thought better of it so he continued reading his paper. His cousin Dudley was sitting quietly eating his fruit salad and yoghurt not saying much. Harry could hardly blame him. About this time last year Dudley almost had his soul taken from him by one of the Azkaban (a wizard prison) guards called Dementors. Harry’s dead mother’s sister was Harry’s Aunt Petunia and she, at this moment was making tea. Harry started eating his fruit salad and yoghurt and when his Aunt had finished making tea she sat down.
Uncle Vernon spoke at last.
‘Have you sent them bunch of wierdos letters, yet, because, they are not coming here, if you are being lazy, boy?’
‘Yeah, I’ve sent them letters’
‘Good’ said uncle Vernon who was still reading his paper.
‘Well we have something to tell you’ he said at last putting his paper down on the table ‘Petunia, Dudley and I are going to Scotland in a week for a business expansion, Grunnings is taking part in and will not be back for the rest of the holiday’s, so, where can you go?’
‘We’ll I can write to my friends and ask them if I could stay’ Harry put in hopefully.
His uncle Vernon’s face twitched at this suggestion, but he seemed to over look it as well as the longing of insulting comments Harry could see he longed to throw at him.
‘Good. You do that. As soon as you are finished your breakfast’
‘OK’ Harry replied brightly.

*

When Harry was done with his breakfast he went up stairs to write a letter to one of his best friends Ron Weasley and ask if he could come and stay. He opened the door to his bedroom. Sun was pouring in making everything in Harry’s room glisten slightly.
Harry went over to his desk and pulled out some parchment, ink and a quill. He sat down on his chair and wrote a letter to Ron. Harry was finished very quickly.
The letter said:

Dear Ron,
My Aunt, Uncle and Dudley are going to Scotland next week for my Uncle’s business. They told me to ask if I can come and stay with you for the rest of the summer.
That is about it.
bye,
Harry

Harry sealed the envelope. He stood up and went over to Hedwig, his owl, who was looking at him through the bars in her cage.
‘Hedwig, I need you to deliver this letter to Ron’
Hedwig clicked her beak which meant that she understood. Harry removed Hedwig from her cage and attached the letter to her leg. Harry then went to the window and threw her outside into the magnificent sky.

*

Life at Number Four Privet Drive had definitely taken a pleasant turn around. The Dursley’s no longer treated Harry like dirt, they still didn’t treat him good either, but still, it was better than ever before. It was because of members from the Order of the Phoenix it was like this.
Hedwig returned the day before the Dursleys were going to Scotland. Ron’s reply was this:

Harry,
You can come and stay. We are going to come and get you tomorrow. I would’ve written to you sooner but Ginny had borrowed Pigwidgeon and she wouldn’t tell me why. Anyway Harry, we are coming tomorrow to get you at seven o’clock in the morning alright.
bye, from
Ron

Harry felt so good for the rest of the day. At dinner time his uncle turned to him and asked him
‘Have those people written back to you yet boy?’
‘Er … yeah they’re coming to get me tomorrow at seven o’clock in the morning’
‘Bit early isn’t it?’
Harry shrugged.
He went upstairs to his room and packed his trunk with all his Hogwarts things. That night he went to bed and for the first time in two months he felt on the verge of happiness. The reason for Harry’s continuous unhappiness was that his godfather Sirius had been killed mere weeks ago and grief was still inside Harry. Still inside his very heart. He missed Sirius so much. He missed his face which lit up every time Harry came near. How he turned from a man into his Animagus form of a dog, complete with black hair, which retained the personality of Sirius. He missed so much about his Godfather.
Harry’s alarm clock rang at six o’clock the next morning. He got up out of bed, dressed and checked he had packed absolutely everything. He went down stairs to wait. His Aunt, Uncle and Dudley were sitting in the living room.
‘We’ve come to see you off and say goodbye we do not want them bunch of wierdos to think we are not treating you right now. Do we?. No’ Vernon Dursley gave a nervous little laugh at this.
At ten minutes to seven the sound of crunching gravel and the screech of car brakes could be heard outside in the Dursleys driveway. Harry’s Uncle stood. Then a new sound, a knock at the door could be heard. Harry moved to answer the door but his uncle snarled
‘Boy, I would like to answer my own door thank you very much’
Harry didn’t argue so he stood with his Aunt Petunia and Dudley in the living room. His Uncle came back in the room followed by five people. Two young men who were identical in every way possible. Even down to the last freckle. They were identical twins by the name of Fred and George Weasley. Their younger brother Ron, who was the same age as Harry and one of Harry’s two best friends. Ginny, the youngest of the Weasley children and only girl. Lastly Hermione Granger Harry’s other best friend, who was top of Harry’s year at Hogwarts.
‘Are you ready to go Harry?’ asked Hermione
‘Yeah’
‘Where’s your trunk?’ asked Ron
‘Upstairs in my room’
‘We’ll go and get it then, c’mon George’ Fred told his twin.
The twins left to get Harry’s belongings. Harry looked at Ron, Hermione and Ginny. They were all looking at Dudley who was trying to hide behind his mother but failing miserably, considering the fact he was about twice her size. Dudley though had grown about a foot and a half taller last year.
The twins reappeared with Harry’s trunk and Hedwig in her cage balanced on top. Uncle Vernon opened the door for Fred and George who said a cheery goodbye. Harry said goodbye to the Dursleys who said goodbye back and Hermione, Ron and Ginny all looked at the Dursleys when this happened. Then turned and walked out the door saying goodbye to Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and Dudley as they left. Harry followed them outside into the glorious day.

hope you like it

[Mistress Siana]

"the man once named Tom..." I love that expression, pretty good!
I wonder why Ginny borrowed Ron's owl!?

Just one more thing: Brackets in a story are something that always kinda annoys me, but however, that's personal. Keep up the good work!

[hagrid_fang]

i'm really intrigued to see where it will go! this is fantastic work keep it up!! roll on the next chapter!!

[bellatrixblacklestrange]

thanks. The brackets kind add extra stuff thats pointless to write so sorry but they're staying. The next chapters a lot better.

CHAPTER THREE
*******************
Best Birthday Ever

‘Who owns that car?’
‘Oh, Dad borrowed it from the Ministry’ said Ron
‘So Fudge has started to believe Dumbledore then?’ Harry asked
‘What? … Oh, yeah, no wait not really but it’s improving’ came Ron’s answer.
‘Yeah, Dumbledore asked if we could borrow one of the cars to come get you. Dad was originally going to come but Dumbledore gave him some work for the order to do instead. Fudge is starting to co-operate but some people are still not convinced that You-Know-Who is back, so it’s really hard for the Ministry to try and convince people when people in the Ministry aren’t even convinced’ explained George more ineptly than Ron had done.
The four Weasleys, Hermione and Harry piled into the old-fashioned dark green car and before Harry knew it he was stopped outside at the Weasleys. The drive to ‘The Burrow’ took a short amount of time. They all got out of the car and thanked the drivers. The cars were gone quite quickly.
Mrs Weasley came running out of the house and to Harry’s surprise followed by the eldest two of the seven Weasley children, Bill and Charlie.
‘Harry dear, how are you?’
‘I’m fine Mrs Weasley’
‘Are you sure? You look a bit peaky dear. Would you like some breakfast? come inside and you can have some what would you like toast?, eggs?, bacon?, sausages?, pancakes?, porridge?’
‘I don’t care’ said Harry.
She smiled, turned and walked inside. Harry followed Mrs Weasley into the house and into the kitchen where he was met with another surprise.
‘Professor Lupin!’ ‘Tonks!’
Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks who were deep in discussion looked up from their chat with each other to look at Harry.
‘Harry!’ they both exclaimed.
‘Harry’ said Tonks ‘sit down we are having breakfast soon, here I’ll get you a chair’
Tonks stood up to pull out a chair and knocked over her chair, another chair and the one she pulled out for Harry. She also fell over in the process.
‘Tonks!’ said Mrs Weasley exasperated.
‘Sorry Molly’ Tonks said as Lupin helped her stand up off the floor.
‘Harry I am really pleased to see you. How did the Muggles treat you?’ inquired Lupin with a tone of concern.
‘They actually for once treated me alright thanks to you, Tonks, Mr and Mrs Weasley and most of all Moody’ Harry said with a slight grin spreading across his face.
Lupin chuckled at the last part of Harry’s answer
At that point Mrs Weasley came over to the table carrying food. So the Weasleys, Tonks and Lupin all got a plate each and starting eating the delicious food Mrs Weasley had cooked.

*

Life at the Burrow was as different as it could possibly be from Privet Drive. Harry still thought about Sirius from time to time, but as there was so much to do and so many things happening, he didn’t dwell on Sirius’ death as much as he had done in Privet Drive. Harry had been at The Burrow for a week then it was the night before Harry’s birthday and the Weasleys, Hermione, Lupin, Tonks, Mad-Eye Moody, Mundungus Fletcher and Harry were eating a wonderful dinner made by Mrs Weasley.
‘So, Fred, George how is your joke shop coming along?’ inquired Bill
‘Oh great it’s great, we’re developing some new merchandise’ replied Fred
‘What kind of new merchandise?’ asked their Mother interested but apprehensive all the same. Who at first idea of the joke shop did not want her sons to have anything to do with it, seemed quite fascinated now.
‘Oh you know the usual’ replied George evasively.
Charlie turned to Harry
‘So, Harry, sixteen tomorrow’ said Charlie
‘Yeah I guess so’
Charlie didn’t pursue the matter any further. Maybe some of Harry’s thoughts showed on his face. He had been thinking of Sirius. Harry had been thinking this would be the first time since finding out Sirius was his godfather he wouldn’t hear from him on his birthday. Harry went to bed shortly after still thinking about Sirius.

*

Harry woke up the next morning to the noise of many people down stairs in very loud conversation. Ron seemed to be already up so Harry put on his dressing gown and went downstairs. Harry let out a gasp of amazement as everybody yelled ‘Surprise’ to him then ‘Happy Birthday’
Ron and Hermione had come over to him. Hermione giving him a hug and a kiss and Ron shaking his hand and a pat on his back. They also gave him presents. Harry looked up at everyone and stood there lost for words.
Everybody was there in the Weasley’s living room. The Weasleys all except Percy. Hermione, Moody, Lupin, Tonks, Mundungus Fletcher, Hagrid, even Dobby the House-Elf and Dumbledore. Also there was a witch whom Harry did not know.
Harry just stood there for a full minute gaping, lost for words and everybody started laughing at him.
Then Mrs Weasley told everyone to come and have breakfast. Mrs Weasley had cooked up a storm with all of Harry’s favorite foods. When everybody had finished breakfast Harry opened his presents.
Hermione had given Harry a wand case, which was leather and engraved with Harry’s name on it.
Ron an assortment of sweets including a box of Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans and a box of Honeyduke’s best chocolates.
From Mr and Mrs Weasley a box of peanut brittle home made fudge and some chocolate cake.
From Bill Weasley a Muggle sweater and trousers.
From Charlie Weasley a compass for his broom.
From Fred and George they gave Harry an enormous box of joke stuff. Which held, fireworks, Skiving Snackboxes, Extendable Ears, also some fake and vanishing wands and also a little box (Harry wasn’t game to find out what was in it so he just put it down).
Ginny had given Harry a card that said ‘Happy Birthday Harry’ and also she gave him a new quill.
Moody gave Harry a ‘Disillusionment Cloak’ as Moody called it. Harry supposed it worked like a ‘Disillusionment’ spell.
Lupin gave Harry a ring it was inscribed with ‘Always follow your nose’
Tonks gave Harry a new wristwatch.
Mundungus Fletcher gave Harry a cage and inside this cage was a black and white cat with bright green eyes.
‘It reminded me a real lot o’ you Harry so I just had to get it. Well that and I couldn’t figure out what to get ya’
Hagrid gave Harry a sack. Hagrid told Harry it was for money. It was exceptionally and artfully made. It was brilliant.
Dobby gave Harry a hand knitted Jumper with Harry’s face on it. Though Harry though it looked more like a House-Elf.
Dumbledore was last Harry opened his present with a hesitant feeling. It contained ten pairs of socks.
‘You can never have too many pairs of socks, Harry’ Dumbledore told Harry with a smile. Harry grinned back because he remembered when Harry was in his first year Dumbledore had told him that he never got socks for Christmas and also that you can never have too many socks.
The witch Harry did not know introduced herself.
‘I’m Altamira Black, I prefer Mira though. I am Tonks’ half-sister, my mother is Andromeda Tonks, Sirius’ cousin’ she also gave Harry three presents.
Harry felt stunned.
‘You didn’t have to’
Harry opened the first one ‘That one’s from me’
It was a penknife just like the one Sirius had given Harry two Christmas’ ago. ‘Your other one melted didn’t it?’
‘Yeah, … thanks’
Harry picked up the second one.
‘That one’s from my mother Andromeda, she really wanted to come but, she couldn’t so she told me to give it to you’
Harry opened the box. It contained a new pair of trainers. They were amazing.
‘New prototype. Wizard’s don’t make Muggle things like trainers. They have recently started though, due to demand by younger witches and wizards. So these are from the first production line’
‘Sirius … before the he left for the Department of Mysteries left my mother this box … incase something should happen to him’
Harry opened the box with a feeling of intense unease. The box held an envelope and a smaller box the size of Harry’s palm. He opened the smaller box with some trepidation. It was a key. Harry had no idea why Sirius would give him a key so he looked back inside the box. Underneath the key was a note folded up very small. Harry read it. It was in Sirius’ handwriting:

Harry,
If you are reading this letter it means something has befallen me in my place in life. This key is to my Gringotts Vault number 711, Harry it’s yours, everything inside is yours to have and keep. Or you may do as you wish with it. I may not be able to watch you later in life but Harry know this I along with your mother and father will help you and look over you from above. Harry know that, I also want you to know that people on Earth love, care and are looking out for you. They always will, Harry. Always.
Sirius

Harry folded the note up and put it in the pocket of his dressing gown. He put the box in there too. He looked back in the bigger box and inside with the smaller box was still an envelope. Harry flipped it over. It held a crest with a paw print right in the middle and around the edge it said, ‘Dog Star’. Harry slit the envelope open and read:

Harry,
I have one more thing to mention. Nobody has ever told you this before because they felt you didn’t really need to know but you have a Godmother. Harry she will be contacting you soon. Harry know this, she cares about you, she does, she always has. Give her a chance; she is a good woman, Harry. I also think my cousin Andromeda will also be in contact with you soon too. Just a feeling, I’m pretty sure you will find lots to talk about with the two of them, your Godmother and Andromeda.
Sirius

Harry was sure the letter would comfort and ease Harry’s pain and suffering. However it didn’t. If anything it made it even worse for him. I have a godmother. I wonder why nobody ever told me? No one has, not Sirius, Dumbledore, Hagrid, Lupin? No one did. Why?
Harry thanked everybody for coming also for his presents. He was about to tell everybody that this was the best birthday he ever had when there was a knock at the front door. Every adult in the room tensed up. They all quickly had hands shoved into their robes discretely, except Dumbledore. Mundungus however seemed to be searching for his wand. His hands were rummaging in every pocket of his coat. He didn’t eventually pull out his wand. He pulled out a piece of paper. However at a second glance it seemed to be a very old battered photograph.
Mr Weasley went to answer the door. He opened it slowly and stood back. Moody and Hagrid had looks of mingled shock and surprise on their faces. Dumbledore and Mundungus seemed to be expecting the visitor. The woman at the door had blonde hair that reached just past her shoulders and bright blue eyes. The woman reminded Harry of someone. Before she had spoken Dumbledore turned smiling at Lupin and said very quietly ‘Remus, your sister is here.’

[hagrid_fang]

this is so good, i really wish i could write like this!

[bellatrixblacklestrange]

I'm glad you liked it.

CHAPTER FOUR
*******************
Moony’s Blood

Harry turned and looked at Lupin. Harry realised it was Lupin who the woman looked like.
‘Lysandra!’ exclaimed Lupin.
The look on his face was shocked, surprised and delighted. Harry was looking at Lupin’s sister. She was standing on the threshold, in the doorway tears rolling silently down her cheeks, crying. She was wearing faded Jeans and a pale blue sweater. She managed to choke out in a very Australian accent
‘Remus I need to talk to you’
Lupin stood up from the table and walked over to his sister. He tried to hug her but she backed away from him still crying.
‘What’s wrong … Ly?’
‘Sirius is dead! … Remus?’
Lupin had tears rolling silently down his cheeks now. She hugged him now and he hugged her back.
Dumbledore spoke with a heavy not of concern in his voice ‘Lysandra are you going to come inside and have some cake or would you and Remus like some outside?’
She was still crying but she did manage to answer Dumbledore
‘I don’t even know where I am’
Mr Weasley moved forward with a look of intense concern on his face almost identical to Dumbledore’s.
‘Hello, my name is Arthur Weasley. This is my house. We were just having a birthday party for Harry and we were about to have cake. Would you like some cake?’
Lupin’s sister replied with a short ‘No … thank you anyway’
Lupin turned to Mr Weasley
‘Arthur this is my sister Lysandra. She prefers Lyra though’ he said not taking his eyes of her and surveying her quite intently.
Mr Weasley replied grinning ‘I gathered that’ Mr Weasley shook her hand.
Lyra stood at the doorway still crying soundlessly.
Dumbledore now went forward.
‘My it has been a very long time since I last seen you Lysandra, too long in fact’
‘It has hasn’t it Professor Dumbledore’ she said half laughing, half slightly crying, staring at the floor.
‘So would you like to come in?’ asked Mrs Weasley who also looked quite concerned for Lyra.
‘This is my wife Molly’ said Mr Weasley. Lupin’s sister still didn’t want to move inside and continued standing in the doorway ‘And these are our children Bill, Charlie’ said Mr Weasley pointing them out ‘Fred, George, Ron and Ginny and these are Ron’s friends Hermione Granger and Harry Potter’ She didn’t look twice at Harry when Mr Weasley said his name. She just nodded at them all in turn, still crying softly. ‘You know Dumbledore I guess’ She nodded.
‘And Hagrid, Moody, Mundungus and er … them’ she said pointing at Mira and Tonks ‘they’re Andromeda’s children’
‘Oh, Really’ exclaimed Mr Weasley slightly taken aback but delighted all the same.
‘Well in that case that just leaves Dobby for you to be introduced to. Dobby is a House-Elf he works at Hogwarts’ said Mr Weasley.
At last she stepped inside ‘The Burrow’.
She greeted Dumbledore, Moody, ‘Dung and Hagrid like old friends. She hugged all four of them also. Mundungus gave her the picture he audaciously searched for when the knock at the door was heard. She looked at it and grinned, then she stopped, her face was then quite sad. She then looked at Mundungus piercingly. However she must have gotten over it.
She said ‘Hi’ to Dobby and shook his hand. Dobby replied back to her with,
‘Thankyou ma’am you is very kind to Dobby. Dobby knows you is kind because Mr Lupin is kind to Dobby too’
At this she stopped crying and chuckled slightly. She introduced herself to Tonks and Mira.
‘I remember you’ said Mira Black suddenly ‘you were at James and Lily’s wedding. I was only small though. You knew my mother Andromeda?’
She nodded.
‘I guess you knew Sirius too, then?’ asked Tonks in her usual enthusiastic demeanour
‘Yes’ Lupin’s sister answered evasively.
Lupin’s sister then hugged both Mira and Tonks in turn. Then she walked towards Mrs Weasley slowly and cautiously she outstretched her hand for Mrs Weasley to shake. Mrs Weasley avoided the hand and pulled her into a hug. When Mrs Weasley let go she seemed quite relieved. She then shook hands with all the Weasley children. Fred asked if she was a werewolf like her brother. She never answered George but she did laugh. She continued and shook both Ron and Ginny’s hands in turn. Hermione was next;
‘Hermione Granger. You do look an awfully lot like your brother you know’
She sighed
‘Yeah … I know. It gets irritating after so many people tell you the same thing so many times over … I imagine Harry here would know exactly how it feels’
Hermione laughed. Harry smiled at Lupin’s sister.
‘Lyra Lupin … er … Remus is my brother … well that’s my parents kept telling me but you know … I have reason to be doubtful …’ she said in a tone of mock thought smiling at him, her eyes twinkling
Harry laughed and smiled at Lyra.
‘Harry Potter … I never knew he had a sister’
‘You do know’ she told him eyes twinkling.
‘Lysandra now that we have finished the introductions are we having cake now?’ Dumbledore asked very shrewdly ‘Or would you like to talk for the rest of the day?’
She had a scandalised look on her face, her jaw dropped and said
‘Talk for the rest of the day of course. You know me too well. You really want some cake though don’t you?’ she asked slyly.
Dumbledore laughed quietly. ‘No … it can wait’
‘No it can’t Harry needs to have his birthday cake … that reminds me … Happy Birthday Harry. I got you a present’
From the pocket of Lyra Lupin’s jeans she pulled out a very small box and gave it to Harry. Harry opened it. Inside was a silver necklace with green gold melded into the chain. Harry removed it from the box to get a better look. The necklace held a pendant. It was glinting an enchanted sort of green light coming from the pendant itself. It was brilliant Harry thought. Harry didn't put it on as he thought it might break and he realised it had something inscribed onto it.

Harry James Potter
b. 31st July 1980
Son of
James Adacus Potter and Lily Michelle (Evans) Potter

Harry was stunned.
‘Thank you’ he managed to stammer. ‘You didn’t need to get me a present and especially one that looks expensive as this’
‘You sound like Lily, lecturing me. I brought that shortly after you were born. I had it made especially for you and I intended to give it to you when you turned eleven. Life made my path different and I went along another way. So, I thought you might like to have it now’
Harry chuckled slightly still admiring his gift.
There were two whole minutes filled with silence before it was broken.
‘Mum?’ came a new voice from the doorway.

Hope you enjoy!

[bellatrixblacklestrange]

I was just marvelling the fact everyone jumped at once to read my fic.

[Nobby]

it's really good. it looks like alice might have competition!

[Alice I]

I printed off your whole set and read them over. You have some nice stuff here. I went through and made a few notes on the print out as I read them and thought I would post them here.

I make a couple of suggesations, I hope you don't mind.

‘Alastor, Arthur, Mundungus, Nymphadora, Remus and Severus, I each have an assignment for you all.

May I suggest:
‘Alastor, Arthur, Mundungus, Nymphadora, Remus and Severus, I have an assignment for each of you.

I’d would rather call you Nymphadora, your name, but as you do not like your name, Tonks will be what you will be called by.

I would rather call you Nymphadora, your name, but as you do not like your name; Tonks is what you shall be called.

It was now very early in the morning the sun was beginning to extricate itself from the blanket of night and light rays of pale gold were seeping into the atmosphere.

Nicely written

Harry felt like his world had been turned upside down by the death of his godfather and that he couldn’t go on. Harry has.

Harry has what?

Harry sealed the envelope. He stood up and went over to Hedwig...

Scroll instead of envelope

The Dursley’s no longer treated Harry like dirt, they still didn’t treat him good either, but still, it was better than ever before. It was because of members from the Order of the Phoenix it was like this.

May I suggest:

The Dursley’s no longer treated Harry like dirt, however they did not treat him good either. It was still better than ever before. The members from the Order of the Phoenix are the reason for this.

Hedwig returned the day before the Dursleys were going to Scotland. Ron’s reply was this:

Harry,
You can come and stay. We are going to come and get you tomorrow. I would’ve written to you sooner but Ginny had borrowed Pigwidgeon and she wouldn’t tell me why. Anyway Harry, we are coming tomorrow to get you at seven o’clock in the morning alright.
bye, from
Ron

If Hedwig returned with Ron's reply why was he waiting for Pig to return?

The reason for Harry’s continuous unhappiness was that his godfather Sirius had been killed mere weeks ago and grief was still inside Harry. Still inside his very heart. He missed Sirius so much. He missed his face which lit up every time Harry came near. How he turned from a man into his Animagus form of a dog, complete with black hair, which retained the personality of Sirius. He missed so much about his Godfather.

This was nicely done. You feel a little of what his emotions are here through the description of the grief being inside of him physically inside his very heart.
The idea is to get the reader to remember feeling that sad once and as writers we elicit that emotion through words that describe what the reader is to actually feel.

Harry said goodbye to the Dursleys who said goodbye back and Hermione, Ron and Ginny all looked at the Dursleys when this happened. Then turned and walked out the door saying goodbye to Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and Dudley as they left. Harry followed them outside into the glorious day.

Put in a small excerpt for the reaction on Uncle Vernon's face after he closes the door.

Fudge is starting to co-operate but some people are still not convinced that You-Know-Who is back, so it’s really hard for the Ministry to try and convince people when people in the Ministry aren’t even convinced’ explained George more ineptly than Ron had done.

ineptly: Did you mean to use this word?

Tonks stood up to pull out a chair and knocked over her chair, another chair and the one she pulled out for Harry. She also fell over in the process.
‘Tonks!’ said Mrs Weasley exasperated.

Nice!! I had forgotten about Tonks being such a klutz! I will have to go and make some changes to my story to include the Klutz Factor. Thanks!!
Nice potrayl of Tonks.

Lupin chuckled at the last part of Harry’s answer

I would take the last few words off of this sentance and change the to that:

Lupin chuckled at that last (bit).
the word bit optional

Moody gave Harry a ‘Disillusionment Cloak’ as Moody called it. Harry supposed it worked like a ‘Disillusionment’ spell.

Good idea Why not it's magic!

Mundungus Fletcher gave Harry a cage and inside this cage was a black and white cat with bright green eyes.
‘It reminded me a real lot o’ you Harry so I just had to get it. Well that and I couldn’t figure out what to get ya’

Nice!! Yes I like. Is it a Kneezel (?sp)

Dumbledore was last Harry opened his present with a hesitant feeling. It contained ten pairs of socks.
‘You can never have too many pairs of socks, Harry’ Dumbledore told Harry with a smile. Harry grinned back because he remembered when Harry was in his first year Dumbledore had told him that he never got socks for Christmas and also that you can never have too many socks.

I would remove the last half of this. Let the reader draw that from knowledge oif the back story. I know that I am way guilty of this myself but I just think it will flow better for you this way:

Dumbledore was last Harry opened his present with a hesitant feeling. It contained ten pairs of socks.
‘You can never have too many pairs of socks, Harry’ Dumbledore told Harry with a smile.

Or maybe add that twinkle in his eye thing.

Harry,
I have one more thing to mention. Nobody has ever told you this before because they felt you didn’t really need to know but you have a Godmother. Harry she will be contacting you soon. Harry know this, she cares about you, she does, she always has. Give her a chance; she is a good woman, Harry. I also think my cousin Andromeda will also be in contact with you soon too. Just a feeling, I’m pretty sure you will find lots to talk about with the two of them, your Godmother and Andromeda.
Sirius

I like Siriuse's letter. It is a good concept. I am uncertian myself wether or not I will include one in my piece.

Harry turned and looked at Lupin. Harry realised it was Lupin who the woman looked like.
‘Lysandra!’ exclaimed Lupin.
The look on his face was shocked, surprised and delighted.

Who's face Harry or Lupin?

From the pocket of Lyra Lupin’s jeans she pulled out a very small box and gave it to Harry. Harry opened it. Inside was a silver necklace with green gold melded into the chain. Harry removed it from the box to get a better look. The necklace held a pendant. It was glinting an enchanted sort of green light coming from the pendant itself. It was brilliant Harry thought. Harry didn't put it on as he thought it might break and he realised it had something inscribed onto it.

Harry James Potter
b. 31st July 1980
Son of
James Adacus Potter and Lily Michelle (Evans) Potter

Harry was stunned.
‘Thank you’ he managed to stammer. ‘You didn’t need to get me a present and especially one that looks expensive as this’

Yes! Excellent!
The description of the necklace was well detailed and my only concern is wether or not a 16 yr old boy would wear it.
I am kind of old school and that necklace sounds so lovely with a silver chain with green gold melded into it and a luminescent green pendant;
gee it sounds like something I would wear.
But I love it it is great!