Calling all LotR movie fans...

[Scellanis]

read this....i did one for harry potter movie too...its in the fanfic section

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring ~ movie out takes

[color=red]Note: This is meant to be humour made up by me, im not saying this actually happened but wouldnt it be funny if it had.....

Glossary: *bleep* = a censored word (u know how they have them bleep machines to hide that kinda word on tv )[/color]

Gandalf tells Frodo about his ring

Gandalf snatches the envelope, throws it on the fire and watches it burn...
Frodo: "What are you doing!"
Gandalf reaches for the tongs and goes to take the ring out of the fire
Gandalf: "Oh... *bleep*... I've lost it!!"
Frodo bursts out giggling as Gandalf continues to poke the fire...
Director: "Cut! Props!!"

Escape on Buckleberry Ferry

The hobbits are running around in the trees shouting as the Ringwraith tries to catch them while they run for Buckleberry ferry....
Sam, Pippin and Merry get away faster and as Frodo is dancing with the Ringwraith Pippin runs straight into a tree...
Pippin: "*bleep*!!" *loud crunch as he hits the floor*
The Ringwraith falls of its horse laughing as Frodo bursts into a fit of giggles and Sam crashes into a tree trying to see what the commotion is....
Sam: "*bleep*...ouch...my nose hurts!"
Director: "Cut!"
Merry: "Aww... I missed it..." *looks sad*
Frodo is still giggling.
Later...
Frodo is running as fast as possible. Sam, Merry and Pippin are shouting at him from the drifting ferry as the Ringwraith is trying to ride him down from behind.
Frodo reaches the end of the pier and takes a running jump...
SPLASH!!
Sam: "Oops!"
Merry and Pippin burst into giggles as Sam tries to drag Frodo from the water and the Ringwraith pulls up on the pier wheezing with laughter.
Dripping Frodo: "Yeah yeah, very funny!! Bet you did that on purpose..."
Director: "Cut!"
A few hours later...
Same scene... Frodo takes a running jump and lands on the ferry...
The Ringwraith tries to stop its horse on the pier....which is wet and slimy now and the horse's momentum carries it straight off the end...
SPLASH!!!
Ringwraith: "Screach!!"
All four hobbits are rolling around laughing...
Frodo: "Ha... Your turn to go for a swimming lesson!"
Ringwraith: "That is so not funny you know"
Director: "CUT!!"
Ringwraith: *is starting to sink because it is wearing armour* "Screach... Gurgle... Gurgle..."
Director: "Somebody get it out...and DON'T LET THAT ARMOUR RUST!!"

Gandalf's Imprisonment

Gandalf throws himself off the top of the tower of Orthanc to land on an eagle and make his escape....
Eagle: "Oh *bleep*... wrong side...."
Gandalf: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!" "Bleh... Ouch"
Camera zooms in to find Gandalf dangling in mid air halfway up the tower of Orthanc on his safety harness...
Director: "CUT!!"

Council of Elrond

Gimli leaps up, raises his axe and brings it down on the ring, shattering his axe...
Frodo suddenly bursts into a fit of giggles as Legolas stands up and picks up half the one ring...
Gimli: "Oops"
Director: *sighs* "Cut! Props!!"

Mines of Moria

The Fellowship is sat at the junction waiting for Gandalf to remember the path...
Frodo hears something and turns round to see Gollum climbing in the distance...
Gollum misses a footing: "Eek!! *bleep*... Uhk!!"
The whole Fellowship burst out laughing as Gollum is left dangling in mid air from his safety harness...
Director: "Cut!!"
Later...
Gandalf is reading from the book. Pippin wanders over to a skeleton sat on a well and twists the arrow...
Silence...
Everyone looks round.
Pippin twists another arrow....
Frodo starts giggling...
Pippin: "My finest moment and the *bleep* thing wont fall in!!" *wanders off sulking*
Frodo is still giggling...
Director: "CUT!! PROPS!!"

[Scellanis]

The Mirror of Galadriel

All is quiet, previous scene was Boromir talking to Aragorn.
Director: "Action!"
Frodo spots Galadriel walking down some steps and decides to follow.
Galadriel is delicately gliding down the steps until she accidentally stands on her pretty white dress and falls head first down the remaining steps and lands in a heap at the foot of the steps.
Director: "Cut!! Lets go again..."
Later...
Frodo, whilst struggling to keep a straight face: "What will I see?" (all he can see is Galadriel falling down those steps)
Galadriel (has spotted Frodo trying his best not to laugh): "Even the wisest cannot tell. For the mirror shows many things..."
Frodo suddenly snorts and bursts into giggles, Galadriel immediately follows suit and starts laughing uncontrollably.
Director: "CUT!! And for gods sake stop laughing! Galadriel doesn't smile!!"
About 2 hours later...
Galadriel is pouring water from the jug: "Even the wisest cannot tell. For the mirror... Oh sugar!! I missed the basin! Sorry."
Frodo starts giggling again.
Director: *sighs* "CUT!!"
30 minutes later...
Same scene, Galadriel is pouring water again: "Even the wisest cannot tell. For the... *bleep* sorry, I...um...trailed my sleeve in it...sorry..."
Frodo is giggling again...
Galadriel: "Aww...my arm's all cold and wet now... " *looks sad*
Frodo is still giggling...
Director: *groans and shifts position in his chair* "Cut"
2 hours later and 3 blown hair dryers...
Galadriel: "It's still soggy..."
Director: "I don't care! I just want this scene finished NOW!!"
Galadriel wanders into position looking gloomy then stumbles "Oops!! *bleep* Aww I got my dress muddy..."
Frodo is giggling again...
Legolas hits Frodo on the head with his script...
Legolas: "Comeon!! Hurry up... I wanna do a scene... Can't I do a scene while she gets her dress washed?"
Frodo, Galadriel and Director: "NO!!!"
Much later...water pouring is finally completed...
Frodo gasps, catching his ring, and falls backwards from the mirror looking scared...
Galadriel: "I know what you saw. I... I... I've forgotten..."
Director: "CUT!"
Later (the director is wandering around muttering under his breath, he eventually sits down)
Later still....
Frodo has offered Galadriel the ring, she is now doing her big dramatic Dark Queen thing....
Galadriel, arms raised, advancing on Frodo... : "In place of a Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall... Bleh... *bleep*"
Galdriel vanishes from view.
Frodo falls over laughing as Galadriel can be seen attempting to disentangle herself from a tree root...
Director: *groans* "I don't believe this!" *he buries his head in his hands and starts to cry*

Boromir's Fall

Director: "Action!"
The Uruk Hai run off with the hobbits.
Boromir sinks to his knees, arrows sticking out of his chest as the Uruk Hai run past all round him...
Random running Uruk Hai: "Screach... *bleep*... Ouch!!" *runs straight into the kneeling Boromir and lands in a heap on top of Boromir*
Boromir: "Mmrph... Muffle... Watch where your going!!"
Lurtz, having walked up to shoot arrows at Boromir, suddenly bursts out laughing.
Director: "Cut!!"
Boromir: "You weigh a ton... Cant you go on a diet or something?"
Random Uruk Hai: *looks crestfallen* "I've been on a diet for over two years..." *starts crying*
Boromir: "Well...um...sorry...but...could we do crying after you GET OFF ME!!"
Random Uruk Hai: "Oh...ya...sorry" *gets up*
Boromir: "Ah...that's much better..." *looks down* "Oops... I broke all the arrows..."
Director: *groans* "PROPS!!"
A few hours later...
Boromir is kneeling infront of Lurtz staring up at the arrow that is about to kill him...
10 minutes later...
Boromir is still staring up at the arrow.
Lurtz looks around: "Wasn't Aragorn supposed to leap out and attack me?"
Director: "CUT!! WHERE IS ARAGORN!!"
Aragorn wanders in carrying a chocolate doughnut: "So... What's happening?"
Director: "Grr!!!" *has gone bright red and looks like hes about to explode*
Director: "YOUR LATE!! YOUR MEANT TO BE KILLING ORC NOT DOUGHNUT!!"
Aragorn (licking fingers): "mmph...err...sorry..."
Director: "Ok, lets go again"
Boromir is kneeling down infront of Lurtz watching the arrow that's about to kill him (and wishing he had a doughnut).
Aragorn (on time) charges into view shouting with sword raised, catches his foot on a tree root and lands face down in the mud inches from Lurtz.
Boromir bursts into a fit of the giggles as Lurtz doubles over laughing....
Director: "CUT!!"
Aragorn gingerly pulls himself to his feet.
Lurtz is rolling around laughing...
Aragorn: "Ok... I think you overdid the mud..."
Director: *groans* "MAKE UP!!"
A few hours later... Same scene
Aragorn charges in shouting and raises his sword...
Aragorn: "Oh... *bleep*... I forgot my sword!!"
Aragorn charges straight back the way he came...
Lurtz and Boromir start laughing again...
Director: "CUT!!!"
Later...
Lurtz is trying to shoot Boromir again....
Aragorn charges in shouting and...
Lurtz snorts and bursts out laughing as Boromir starts giggling.
Aragorn: "What?" *stops, sword raised, looking disappointed* "I got it right that time..." *looks sad*
Director: *sighs* "Why couldn't I have directed Harry Potter instead??"

and thats all the scenes ive written so far.....what u think??

[snuffles360uk]

v funny !! write more

[the-rabid-chocobo]

yeah...those were really funny lol

[Scellanis]

ok, i have a few more i wrote late last night that i may post after i reread them to see if they r still funny now.....lol

[Shadow]

looo

[Scellanis]

*looks confused*

now i thought everyone here would prefer the harry potter version of these...i only made the harry potter ones to post on here......but u all seem to be posting in my lotr ones but not my harry potter ones.....

oh well...

[Scellanis]

ok i wrote some more last night though i dont think they r as good....

The Prancing Pony

Pippin: "Baggins? Sure I know a Baggins..."
As Frodo runs up towards Pippin to stop him he slips and falls backwards tossing the ring into the air and reaches out to catch it... but... the ring misses his finger.
Frodo: "Oh *bleep*!"
Pippin quickly downs his pint in one go...
Director: "CUT!! Lets go again."
Frodo gets up and starts looking round...
Frodo: "I can't see it..."

5 hours later...
The whole crew and cast are scouring the Prancing Pony for some sign of the One Ring to no avail... as Pippin downs his 20th pint and disapears under a table singing merrily and giggling at nothing...

Travelling to Weathertop

Director: "Action!"
Pippin: "But what about second bre...eek!!"
Merry turns round to reply and finds no Pippin.
Frodo bursts into a fit of the giggles as Pippin tries to pull his foot out of a rabbit hole...
Director: "Cut!"
Later...
Pippin, having just finished talking exchanges a glance with Merry.
An apple flies through the air and sails straight past Merry.
Merry: "*bleep*!"
Pippin and Frodo start giggling...
Director: "CUT!! Lets go again..."
Merry catches the apple and gives it to Pippin then walks away. Another apple sails straight past Pippin who falls over laughing.
Director: "CUT!!!"
Sam (who got hit by the stray apple): "Yay! Apple fight!"
Sam throws an apple at Strider which hits Pippin in the crossfire and Frodo ducks, narrowly missing an apple thrown by Merry that hits the Director on the nose.
Director: "*bleeeeeeeeeeeeep*!!!!!!"
A long while later...
An apple sails through the air and hits Merry square on the forehead.
Merry falls over as Pippin starts giggling...
Director: "CUT!!!"
Later...
Strider throws an apple for Merry to catch but stumbles as he does so...
Strider: "Oh *bleep*!"
CRASH!!!
Frodo starts giggling...
Director: "CUT!!!"
Pippin is rolling around on the ground laughing as the camera man can be seen climbing out of a heap of camera.

[snuffles360uk]

brilliant!

[Shadow]

Loo.

BTW, what is the title of the ones for the HP characters?

[Scellanis]

'this is humour based on the movie....'

its the only thread by me in the fan fiction section....

[Shadow]

Thanks!

[Gryffindor Student]

Those are hilarious! I like the one where Aragorn comes in with that dounut! HAHA!
I will make one after I watch the movie again, I have been so sumerged in watching Anime (not that thats a bad thing ) I have to watch it again!

[Gryffindor Student]

When Gandalf is trying to find the writing on the Ring


Gandalf: *throws the Ring into the Fire*

Frodo: What are you doing?! *watches it.*

Gandalf: *gets it with fireplace tongs* Hold out your hand Frodo, its quite cool. *Gandalf drops the Ring in his hand*

Frodo: OWWWWWWWWWWWW *BLEEP!!!!!!!!! *IT BURNS! IT BURNS! AHHHHH WATER! WATER!

Director: CUT! WRONG RING! PROPS!

[Scellanis]

lol

u forgot the bleep.....