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Postby Hermione Weasley » Friday 11 July 2003 9:47:40pm

Ok so this is not make lizzy and sonkem feel more guilt about what happened its just that I am truly appalled by the way it played out I mean when two people are telling you to knock it off not very nicely I might add I read what sonkem wrote on the welcome thread to Hermy i think it was. I thought the whole purpose of the Welcome thread was to make people fell welcomed not make a big deal about things you thought of Sonkem. I personallythink it is despicable the way it was handled.Like I said before but i don't think it was read that I am truly sorry for using "your stuff" I was simply trying to make people feel welcomed. Again I am very upset towards the way things were handled.
Paul if you didn't read my request before because of the last couple of pages i put in a request to become prefect for Gryffindor because neither meldoy nor neo have been on fo quite sometime thanks!
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Postby Lizzy Bennet » Friday 11 July 2003 10:00:49pm

Hermione Weasley wrote:Ok so this is not make lizzy and sonkem feel more guilt about what happened its just that I am truly appalled by the way it played out I mean when two people are telling you to knock it off not very nicely I might add I read what sonkem wrote on the welcome thread to Hermy i think it was. I thought the whole purpose of the Welcome thread was to make people fell welcomed not make a big deal about things you thought of Sonkem. I personallythink it is despicable the way it was handled.Like I said before but i don't think it was read that I am truly sorry for using "your stuff" I was simply trying to make people feel welcomed. Again I am very upset towards the way things were handled.
Paul if you didn't read my request before because of the last couple of pages i put in a request to become prefect for Gryffindor because neither meldoy nor neo have been on fo quite sometime thanks!


I was never nasty to anyone as I believe my one and only post on the matter reflects:

While I think it's great that everyone get the opportunity to welcome people, as this is a welcome area where anyone can jump in and do so, taking (even if you didn't realize you were and/or meant nothing mean by it) someone's welcoming approach (Sonkem, for a while, has been the only person I've read that using sorting hat glitter/confetti and such), even if imitiation is the most sincere form of flattery, seems a little unfair.

Not picking on anyone or anything , but that's been her (Sonkem's) trademark and her 'welcoming identity'...welcome all you like (and good on you for making people feel welcome! ), but let's let Sonkem retain her originality in welcoming people, especially as this forum was her idea. JMHO.


~ Lizzy


My subtle point was that I could see Sonkem was getting upset and I was ATTEMPTING to hint that others back off in order NOT to have the fight--not saying Sonkem was right or wrong or the people using 'her stuff' were right or wrong--I was simply trying to head off this very confrontation, which, apparently, I failed abysmally. I'm sorry if anyone finds what I said rude or harsh.

Now, I don't mean offense, but next time, I just won't try to help...I'll just stay out of it and just let it blow up on its own accord. I have never been anything on this forum but nice and polite...not once have I been nasty...and I won't be. I simply apologized if my words were misconstrued. It was my intention to warn people because I felt there were some hurt feelings coming up and I knew where it might lead.

Apparently, I was quite mistaken in speaking up...I won't be doing that again. This wasn't my problem then, and it isn't my problem now because I was never attacking anyone, simply I was trying to head off a problem I could see developing, regardless of who was right or who was wrong...I was simply apologizing to gwared because it was NEVER my intention to make him or anyone else feel bad, but I was NOT nasty. There has BEEN nastiness on this forum, but it has NOT been at my hand--in fact, I daresay, most of that nastiness has been directed AT me. I feel I needed to speak up, sadly, in defence of myself, because I'm getting rather tired of being blamed and being used as other people's whipping post...all I was trying to do is head off a fight not cause a bigger one...I have far too much stress in my life (and from this forum) as it is...


~ Lizzy
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Postby Blaise Zabini » Friday 11 July 2003 10:49:13pm

Allright, I've been quiet for far to long. And Hermione, I apologize in advance for what may come of as being mean, but I see serious flaws in what you've said to Lizzy.

I can't possibly see how you can be disappointed in the way that Lizzy has handled any of this! I think that she's been one of the most influential people on this forum in absolving the recent conflicts and she has, in no way, aggravated them. She's been a consistent vioce of reason and has treated everyone with the equality and respect that they deserve. I'm astonished that you can say otherwise! She has been the recipient of unwarranted critcism far too many times, and it's high time that a stop is put to it. I can't see how anyone would subject her to this, as she's said nothing mean, done nothing deserving of such words, and needn't be blamed for acts she hasn't committed.

One of the first times I spoke to her was in the St. Mungos section where she wrote of attempting to solve conflicts only to be met wih criticism and complaints from those she was trying to help. How true that was to become, on here of all places. I told her how she needed to understand that the problem wasn't in her, but in those who threw snide comments at her and blamed her for their troubles. And Lizzy, I say it to you again, none of this is your fault, none of it is your doing, and none of these senseless blame-games of late should be taken seriously. It all lies in those who have decided to take advantage of your generosity and kindness, only to turn around and throw it in your face (which, unless I've been horribly mistaken, is exactly what has occurred here.)

For the rest of those on the forum, I can only say that I hope we can put aside these petty arguments and act like the adults we are. And yes, I say adults because the people whom I thought I met all acted civily and much older than their ages. In the past, many people have commented about age never being an indication of maturity. Here, I believe that this used to hold true in a positive way, as I'd met people who were far younger than me who seemed to have the wisdom and knowledge of those twice my age. However, now that some of us have resorted to these juvenile disagreements, we seem to be exhibiting the reason and insight characteristic of those far younger than us. Please, something needs te be done, apologies need to be issued, and the effects of what is said needs to be taken into consideration. For those whom I may have offended, I apologize, however what I've said has had to be said for quite some time. All of this needs to be put aside and we all need to revert to enjoying HP the way we used to, without the conflict, strife, and senselessness that has arisen of late.

I've always admired the way in which Paul has run this forum and I can only hope that he steers us through this as he has done with every other bump we've encountered in the past.
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Postby han lin » Friday 11 July 2003 11:43:36pm

i have to agree with Blaise on this one

I read and re-read Lizzy's message and i can't see any way in which it was rude or malicious. Lizzy has had a lot of abuse directed her way so i think she would be the last person to make anyone feel bad.

this is in no way a dig at anyone who has previously posted. i just felt that this had to be said.
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Postby Barry Trotter » Friday 11 July 2003 11:55:08pm

I think everyone is pretty much agreed on these points now.

1, we are all very sorry to have lost a great member
2, No one carries responsibilty for him leaving especially niether sonkem or Lizzy. typed words are so easy to misunderstand and take the wrong way. i know niether of you would want to loose a member. and that is the main thing. we have all learnt from this and i know we all know that nothing could have changed his mind. its not a blame game.
3, no bad feeling will bring him back
4, i think this should be the last of any kind of hostility, however subtle. i have suffered from some not so subtle stuff and it hurts. nothing should get this personal. ( this last point isn't especially ment for here ( it hardly applies) but its just something in general that i'll probbably post around the board in several places)
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Postby Lizzy Bennet » Saturday 12 July 2003 2:04:27am

Barry Trotter wrote:I think everyone is pretty much agreed on these points now.

1, we are all very sorry to have lost a great member
2, No one carries responsibilty for him leaving especially niether sonkem or Lizzy. typed words are so easy to misunderstand and take the wrong way. i know niether of you would want to loose a member. and that is the main thing. we have all learnt from this and i know we all know that nothing could have changed his mind. its not a blame game.
3, no bad feeling will bring him back
4, i think this should be the last of any kind of hostility, however subtle. i have suffered from some not so subtle stuff and it hurts. nothing should get this personal. ( this last point isn't especially ment for here ( it hardly applies) but its just something in general that i'll probbably post around the board in several places)


I completely agree :grin: , Barry, and thanks for your support, Blaise and Han! :D

Back to the topic at hand: moderators! :-)

For those who don't know, to be a moderator, you must:

(1) either have at least 125 posts or have been a member for a month or more with some posts (not necessarily 125, but enough for Paul to see what your interaction on the forum has been)

(2) have a 'clean record' on the forum...in other words, if you've been member-bashing and/or breaking several rules, you most likely won't be allowed to be a mod

(3) show a sincere interest [there's a reason Neo and Holly are in charge of the Theories section! :razz: ] in the section(s) you wish to mod

You can mod up to three sections...more if Paul gives you permission. :eek: :D Since the new limit is three mods per section, as you can see, on her forum, we have several spots for new mods (but also including those mods who only have one or two sections thus far). For the prefect positions, it's nice to have to have at least one person around at any time (with three prefects, that's easier to insure!) so that sorting can happen relatively quickly when someone requests a house (as Paul gave the prefects the power to sort because he isn't here 24/7 to sort people himself). :grin:

I hope some people will volunteer to be mods, especially for the one prefect spot each for Gryffindor and Hufflepuff! I think the new mods are doing are doing a great job (zledm007 and gecko, for instance), and if anyone tells you that you'd be a good mod, think on it...why would they say it if they didn't mean it? :grin: I love being a mod, and I hope people feel I do a good job. :D It'll be interesting to see who volunteers...it'd be great to have 3 mods on every section! :-)


~ Lizzy :angel:
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Postby Hermione Weasley » Saturday 12 July 2003 2:51:44am

Lizzy I am sorry if you thought i was talking about you i wasn't i was talking about the way Sinkem handled it and i am really not trying to blame or bash anyone's character I really am sorry if i offended anyone really i am. My temper kind of gets blown out of proportion when i am writing that is theonly problem i have with message boards agian i am sorry if i upset and i wasn't talking about you.
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Postby Lizzy Bennet » Saturday 12 July 2003 3:19:59am

Hermione Weasley wrote:Lizzy I am sorry if you thought i was talking about you i wasn't i was talking about the way Sinkem handled it and i am really not trying to blame or bash anyone's character I really am sorry if i offended anyone really i am. My temper kind of gets blown out of proportion when i am writing that is theonly problem i have with message boards agian i am sorry if i upset and i wasn't talking about you.


I appreciate the clarification...no permanent damage done. :-)

As for Sonkem, I'd like to go on the record for saying that I know she's trying to work out this problem...it's takes two to have a problem, and it takes two to fix it, so I think (if I may be so bold in saying so) that it's best for us all if we leave that to gwared and Sonkem. We all make mistakes--I'm certainly not exempt and neither is anyone else. :) I've said it before and I'll say it again: Sonkem and gwared, I'm sorry for getting in the middle of things...I hope it can all be resolved peacefully without any more outside interference or comment. :)

Anyway, like Barry said, I hope we can all move forward from here, and in relation to the topic, I hope more people will volunteer to be mods (assuming they meet the criteria I stated in an earlier post, as required by Paul, the forum admin.)...especially now, during a time when many people are on holiday, having more mods would help as to not have forums with no mods present because both mods are busy and/or on holiday...this has particular become a problem with the sorting situation as some of the prefects are out on holiday or busy and Paul has left the sorting primarily to the prefects. No one's to blame or at fault at all, just what probably happens in the summertime and especially with so many new members joining everyday! :eek: :grin:

It'll be interesting to see who volunteers to be a mod and what section(s) they choose...certainly, I would imagine Hermione would appreciate help on the Book 5 Rumours section, Blaise and I have an empty spot on the Book 5 Characters section, and many of the forums have one or two mods, and need two or one more. I'm at my maximum :razz: , so all current mods with less than 3 sections and all people who meet the requirements as stated above who are interested, do let Paul know on this thread! :grin: Best wishes and looking forward to sharing modding duties with you! :D


Yay for Mods! :-)
~ Lizzy :angel:
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Postby Scellanis » Saturday 12 July 2003 7:11:13pm

I'm perfectly well aware i handled this in my...*cough* stressed out girly *cough* fashion.....I'm also well aware I really do need to find some way of controlling those stupid mood swings.....

oh well, i sincerely hope i never explode again on this forum, i have to say im very ashamed to find i nearly turned into one of the kind of mods i so despise....

ah well, so relieved he aint leaving.....
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Postby Scellanis » Saturday 12 July 2003 7:16:11pm

oh and i meant to say

i'd like to retract my earlier statement, Gwared is very welcome to become a mod for the welcome forum if he ever feels the need...hope someone feels the need soon...

:grin:

i do desperatley need a new mod in there, someone who likes welcoming people....(you'll be able to edit out all those little mistakes like wrong names....lol...thats why i became mod)

theres almost no need to do anything else....lock and delete doubles and watch for people making stickies cos the forum has an auto prune on it so all messages (unless they are polls or stickied or announcements) will dissapear if they arent posted in......
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Postby Charis » Saturday 12 July 2003 7:17:46pm

I'd like to become a mod! thanx for asking, Lizzy :-) but I probably won't start for a couple of weeks since I'll be gone from monday to the 27th. but from then on I hope I'll be joining the "mod squad!" :razz:
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Postby Lizzy Bennet » Saturday 12 July 2003 7:37:32pm

Sonkem wrote:I'm perfectly well aware i handled this in my...*cough* stressed out girly *cough* fashion.....I'm also well aware I really do need to find some way of controlling those stupid mood swings.....

oh well, i sincerely hope i never explode again on this forum, i have to say im very ashamed to find i nearly turned into one of the kind of mods i so despise....

ah well, so relieved he aint leaving.....


If I may be so bold, I think MOST females (myself included!!! :grin: ), and certainly there are ones on this forum who will agree, can relate to mood swings that come at the worst times :eek: ...been there, done that, hate it, cope the best I can (and hope people see me for who I really am on the whole)! :D It's all good, Sonkem...got nothin' but love for ya, babe! :razz:


~ Lizzy :angel:
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Postby Gwared » Saturday 12 July 2003 8:12:07pm

*Casually strolls in*

What are you talking about?

Now if I remember rightly I was somewhere and now I have this broken wand and don't know who I am!

Hmmm

Welcome me, whoever I am...come now (and why am I covered in enchilada's????).....
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Postby Lizzy Bennet » Saturday 12 July 2003 8:27:29pm

Gwared wrote:*Casually strolls in*

What are you talking about?

Now if I remember rightly I was somewhere and now I have this broken wand and don't know who I am!

Hmmm

Welcome me, whoever I am...come now (and why am I covered in enchilada's????).....


Not quite sure how to respond to your post, Gwared :razz: , but I will say, since Sonkem needs another mod in the Welcome area, you do such a great job at welcoming, and certainly, you've contributed a lot to this site, I hope you'll consider helping to mod that area which REALLY needs three people modding it (it's really only one :eek: , since Elvenmist hasn't been around much). I know I originally said Mint, but I can't imagine she'd be all that fussed one way or another...she and I have our hands full with the book 5 discussion area, especially now that gecko is on a 2-week holiday! :o :lol:

Do consider it, Gwared...totally your choice, but as Mint's going to be made busier with book 5's discussion area section (as I hope to have a job soon and gecko is out of town), and I already mod three sections, you are a natural choice! :grin: I'd love to have ya on the 'mod squad'...please do consider it! :D


~ Lizzy :angel:

P.S.--Charis, I look forward to seeing where you choose to mod--that rocks!! :D June, don't forget, I think you'd be a great mod as well! :grin:
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Postby Gwared » Saturday 12 July 2003 8:41:31pm

Hmmm...a mod, of the welocome area (or the welcome area whichever I don't mind :D)

I would love too... :lol:

Now..if you'd be so kind as to tell me what a mod is? Is it short for model? modem? module?

You see I don't think I quite fit into those catagories, you know after the accident where I drank polyjuice potion with a goat hair in...

*wanders off whistling the Harry Potter theme tune*
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