Single and lonely in the world . . .

[Rory Pridinham]

Okay - I started this thread because I'm 19 and have never had a love interest.

I know I'm still young and everything, but I don't know how I'm supposed to find a man these days - via bar hopping or the Internet for me is out of the question.

I have this recurring dream that I travel to London and meet this guy who I fall in love with. However, I never see his face. What with that?

*Sigh. Anyone else single and lonely, or are you dealing with it in a different way?

[Scellanis]

Well I didn't get a love interest untill I was 21, after I graduated...didn't even go on a date till my last semester of Uni....

My first boyfriend being someone I found at a uni society like 2 weeks before then end of my last semester and then the rest I found online...my second being a myspace discovery and my current being a livejournal one...lol

You'll find someone eventually I'm sure, mine are usually friends of friends...

[Broccoli]

I met my current boyfriend (and future husband) over the Internet too! I think you could consider it too - a lot of things are done on-line these days.

Some other options could be joining a sports club or some other social activity...

[Snow_Crystal]

Yeah don't lose heart there's someone out there for all of us I believe.

The worst culprit for making us feel like that is TV I think. They show programmes that show people in relationships and say that we should be all out there looking for relationships or that it's almost bad to not be in one that it gets us all paranoid.

The one thing I would suggest to you is live your life the way you really want to live it. Do things that you enjoy (regardless of what your friends think as this should be done by you alone - after all they're not going to be in your relationship are they) and along the way, you'll stumble on that special person.

Don't go out looking for it as you will probably not find it. And also don't do things you think will help you find that person unless you enjoy doing them, otherwise if you happen to meet someone there then they will assume you have something in common instantly but if you secretly hate it, it's not going to work out.

If you organise things for you to do with friends that may introduce you to their friends that can help you find that special person but also in another way, it gets complicated if things don't work out or if your friends feel used or not seen as much.

My question is do you feel comfortable talking to men or do you feel shy, nervous etc? How do they make you feel and how do you feel about yourself when you are simply talking? When I ask this, I'm getting at confidence and ease of talking really.

[Rory Pridinham]

Thanks you guys *snif


Um . . . it depends on the guy, I guess. There were a few in high school I really got along with well because they made me feel relaxed, whereas if I barely knew a guy I was interested in I would come out with stupid stuff.

For example

GUY: If you could go out with one person, who would they be like?
ME: Um. . . . Genghis Khan?

A half an hour later I realized I SHOULD have said "Someone like you" *inserts foot in mouth

Then I feel stupid for months and crawl into a hole to cry for a while

I'm much more confident with myself now, though

[Snow_Crystal]

Yes but you're answer shows intellect and maturity and that says a lot about you. If you had said "someone like you" then that would have been ultra-corny and actually I'd say a bit sucky.

Perhaps next time the answer might be more "Genghis Khan because...." and then mention a strength that you particularly admire that could be related back to the person you fancy..

I don't know do you see what I mean???

Relationships have to be fairly equal and have balance to them and if they are not like that from the outset then they will never work. You have to bear in mind as well that it should not be an effort with someone, and it should feel perfectly natural but with all the goosebumps and butterflies inside that kind of makes it exciting.

[Rory Pridinham]

Thanks snow - I actually did go on into an explanation why . . which I can't remeber at this point but oh well

I feel much better now!

[Snow_Crystal]

Cool! Keep us posted here if you go on any dates - I love discussing love life!!

[kp-peanut]

Its been like a month since anyone posted in this so......yerr i'll just talk to myself in here LOL anyway, i'm pretty much the same. i went to high school which was for girls....that meant that i never got into contact with any guys so basically its quite hard for me to find some one! and i also wonder if i'll ever find any one at about 12 i was always meeting friends of friends on the internet and quite a few i went out with but at that age its not as though your gunna stay together forever so, you know but i still wonder.......meeting people on the internet is alright but if you ever get round to meeting them its dead scary!! well at least for me becuase meeting some one who you never knew before....well erm, i need say no more! but after that its quite good because every time i've met them they've turned out ok eventually and not half what i expected
anyway cant be bothered to write anything else
tra!

[Scarlet Lioness]

I still go to an all-girls high school...though I have guy friends, I never get to see them, whereas if they were at school I could hang out with them everyday. The only time I do see them is if we have school dnaces which don't occur very often...which sucks...and since I'm too busy out of school to meet up with them I only ever get to txt them or chat on MSN with them...

[aquamonet]

I'm 20 and I haven't had a boyfriend since I was 16 and even then it was more of a friendship thing since then I realised that I wasn't really attracted to him.

Anyway I've never been good with guys I feel uncomfortable if a guy shows interest in me (self confidence issues etc..) so I have always made it easier to make friends with them and then you end up in the "friend zone" so no relationship there. So recently I met a guy who lived near me at university, we got on well and I was so attracted to him that I bypassed my fears and after much deliberation and some dutch courage I asked him out. He said no but this experience has made me more confident because it wasn't as bad as I though it was going to be.

So I guess in summary I'm telling you to go to a club or society where you'll meet guys (preferably ones you don't know well) and start chatting to them better still talk to friends of friends at parties and just be confident, ask for their number or something. It's not as bad as you think trust me, you've just got to be confident! Plus, be yourself don't feel you have to act stupid to get a guy. Good luck and I hope this helps.

[Rory Pridinham]

Hey guys - still lonely and single, but I'm willing to wait for the right guy. I mean , why rush into a relationship that turns out to be a big mess, right? I'm kinda old-fashioned anyway and there aren;t that many old-fashioned chaps around that I've noticed, anyway. The search continues!

[Scarlet Lioness]

Yes, well it takes time! Everything does.

I'll bet you find someone who's old fashioned, as there is defiantely someone out there for everyone!

But i guess, I'm only 15, So i can't really talk.
I seem to only stay friends with guys...Like aquamonet, I stay in the 'Friend Zone' almost constantly.