The weirdo loner girl

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The weirdo loner girl

Postby Rachel_Lestrange » Friday 6 January 2006 4:57:33pm

She sat alone. This was nothing new to her. She liked it better when it was quiet anyway, in her opinion is was easier to work on your own. "God i'm so bored" she thought. 'Miss Bates are with us" said Professer snape with a cold harshness in his voice. For being the head of her house he never took a liking to her. "Yes sir.... Sorry sir" she said in a quiet voice.
"Need I remind you that i asked you to work in pairs for this particular assignment. I presume you have a partner" said snape almost mocking her. "No sir" she said looking down. She could feel her cheeks going red. "Ah, I see Mr Longbottom has not got a partner yet perhaps you should join him" he said slightly smirking. Before she even said anything Neville had ran across the room and grabbed Hermione Granger doing a sign that indicated they were working together. "Perhaps you will be working on your own after all. Carry on" he said with triumph in his voice.

At the end of class she made her way up to the slytherin dorm. She skipped lunch. She felt sick. Is she really that bad that even the biggest dork in the whole school refused to work with her? "pishposh" she said when she came to the giant portrait at the end of the corridor. The portrait door swung open and she made her way through it. "Hey Rosie" said a familiar voice. She turned round to find Malfoy staring at her with a look of sheer amusement in his eyes. "what do you want this time slimeball"? "Heard that Longbottom turned you down" he said with a cheeky smirk. "Listen Malfoy shouldn't you be at lunch stuffing your face preferably choking on something"? she said she could feel the tears building up behind her eyes. "Did i strike a nerve or something" "oh shut your bloody face draco or i'll shut it for you" she said as she stormed up to her room. She sat on her bed and buried her face in her hands. "My life sucks. What have I done thats so bad" she thought to herself. Her pet owl georgie flew and landed on her shoulder giving her ear an affectionate peck. She opened a chocolete frog and ate it breaking asmall bit for her pet owl. "here you go sweetie" she said. "no more or you'll be getting fat". The owl flew back to its cage. "oh cr*p Defence against the dark arts next" she said as she grabbed her books and ran down the corridor. "Time to face them all again"
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Postby Asphodel » Saturday 7 January 2006 9:46:52pm

Well, an interesting title. You might want to improve your grammar a bit, but it is an otherwise good story.
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Postby Rachel_Lestrange » Monday 9 January 2006 5:14:36pm

She walked towards the classroom. She really wasn't in the mood even though defence against the arts was her favourite subject. She reached out and turned the large round bronze doorknob. "here we go" she thought as she slowly made her way in. "Nice to see you finally joined us Rosie" said professor Lupin "sorry professor" she muttered as she sat on her usual seat at the back. "now were was ah yes the Imperious curse". Rosie slumped in her chair. "An hour of this to go great" she thought as she unrolled her parchment and got out her best quill. Just as she reached into her bag a scrumpled bit of paper hit her square in the forehead. She looked up only to see the one and onli Malfoy staring at her. "Jerk" she muttered under her breath.

She unfolded the tiny bit of parchment in her hand it said "can i talk to you". Rosies stomach flipped. What would Malfoy want with her. "what do u want" she scrawled back half nervous and half excited at the same time. "jus meet me in the common room at 12 and we'll talk then". She didn't know how to react. Malfoy wanted to talk to her. This was a big change from shouting insults at her from the other side of the room. Her mind began to race. "What could he possibly want"?" Sure no problem but none of your funny business and if you so much as look at me wrong i'm gone k? She hoped she didn't sound to cheeky. "kk no bother c u later xo" Rosie nearly passed out! Malfoy put a kiss and hug on the note. "something fishy is going on I jus know it" she thought as she left the classroom and made her way up to the dorm.[/i]
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Postby Bextra » Sunday 22 January 2006 7:12:14am

Its always about grammer, aye Asphodel. Its not the grammer that makes a story good, its the actual story.
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Postby Asphodel » Sunday 22 January 2006 7:28:46pm

Yes, but it's the grammar that annoys the reader. And makes them not want to read. As my old Literature teacher used to say, "Feel the reader's pain! FEEL IT!! FEEL IT!!!" (he was a bit luny)
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Postby Phoenix in the Ashes » Tuesday 24 January 2006 9:29:36am

Its always about grammer, aye Asphodel. Its not the grammer that makes a story good, its the actual story.


Wrong, it's both.

Because the reader cannot interpret what the author meant if he can't read it properly.
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Postby Asphodel » Wednesday 25 January 2006 3:35:33am

I don't mean huge grammar mistakes, just the small ones, that make the story seem unproffesional, and makes the reader feel as if not much time is being put into the story.
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Postby Ginnys_Mommy » Saturday 29 April 2006 4:13:20am

It's a real good story. I enjoyed it. There is a small "thing" with the grammer. I must agree with that, but otherwise, very entertaining.
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Postby *Riley* » Friday 18 January 2008 1:25:41pm

PLEASE CONTINUE THIS STORY, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN THEM AND SO ON.
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