Things the HP Gang would never say

[Liquid Ice]

Voldrmort : "I will kill you now! Ha, ha, ha!"
Harry cried?"But why can't we all live in harmony?"
"No, you have to fight me now!!! Please!!! Fight me now! please..." Voldermort starts crying too.
"Fighting is wrong, Voldermort, and I know that you know that that's right. "
"Hug me Harry Potter."says Voldermort full of tears.
"Oh, Voldy, I knew you were good!"

continuation Harry: (hugging voldie) Dont worry the past is the past. hey! Since you killed my dad you can adopt me, how about it?

[Jotomicron]

Voldrmort : "I will kill you now! Ha, ha, ha!"
Harry cried?"But why can't we all live in harmony?"
"No, you have to fight me now!!! Please!!! Fight me now! please..." Voldermort starts crying too.
"Fighting is wrong, Voldermort, and I know that you know that that's right. "
"Hug me Harry Potter."says Voldermort full of tears.
"Oh, Voldy, I knew you were good!"

continuation Harry: (hugging voldie) Dont worry the past is the past. hey! Since you killed my dad you can adopt me, how about it?

Colin Creevey: "Harry? Who is he? I think I've never seen him..."

[Liquid Ice]

Colin Creevey: "Harry? Who is he? I think I've never seen him..."[/quote]

continueation Malfoy: You havnt heard of harry potter????
Colin Creevy: Nope. Who is he?
Malfoy: Only the best thing that ever happened to hogwarts, except perhaps muggle borns....(falls into thoughtful silence, harry enters)
Colin Creevy: Is that harry potter? He looks sorta familier....
Harry: (to malfoy) Whos that? Oh its just another mudblood....stamp 'em out....
Malfoy: Harry!

[Mint]

Lol!!!!

U r soo funny guys!!!

More more!!!!

[Liquid Ice]

Right ok more...um lets think...

Umdridge: (Stepping through the portrait hole into gryffindor common room) Attention gryffindors! Im very pleased to announce that I have requested to be head of gryffindor following the resignation of proffesor mcGonagal!
Fred: What?! Stop trying to give neville that canary cream george, he knows whatll happen....
Umbridge: I am very sorry to announce that proffesor mcGonagal had to leave her position due to a slight cold which madam pomfrey was unable to cure, so I hope to be your new head of house in a few days.
Entire contense of grffindor tower: Horay!!!!!!!!

[Jotomicron]

Hermione: Neville, can you help me here... My potion look like snail mucus...
Neville: That's because you weren't listening to Snape! May I know why was that?
Snape: What's going on here? Ms Granger, are you crying?
Hermione: Neville yelled at me.
Snape: Oh... I give ten points to gryffindor. It'll make you happier. And neville, you're potion is absolutely perfect. Ten point to gryffindor, too. And, do me this favor, don't yell at Ms Granger again, please...
Neville: I'll yell to everyone I want, ok?
Snape: Ok, ok! Take more ten points and calm yourself, ok?

[Female_alien]

*While Voldy and Harry were crying on the floor hugged, they heard steps. And her he was, the best wizard ever:Snape, with his lovely girlfriend, miss Trelawney.
Snape : Voldermort, sir, what are you doing here? I thought we have a date in 8 o'clock?
Voldermort: I know, Severus, dear, but I wanted to kill someone and, well, Harry thought me it was bad. Good, good Harry.
Trelawney: Can you explain me wha't going on? A date?
Snape: Sybill, you've should've seen all this this morning in your tea, right? You don't need any explanations.
Trelawney: I can't belive you've done that! How could you date m and Voldermort in the same time???
*Trelawney hits Snape in the nose. Snape starts bleeding.*
Harry: Hit her back!!! More, more!!!!!
Voldermort: But, Harry, fighting is wrong!
Harry: No. When you fight, it's wrong, but whn you're watching someone else, it's gooooood!!!!
*Harry looks fascinated."
Voldermort: Oh, o.k. Hit him!!! Sybill!!!!! You're the man!! You rule, girl!! Destroy him!!! He cheated on me too!!!!
Harry: Go, go, go, go, go Snape!! It's your bithday!! You're gonna hit like it's your birthday!!
*Trelawney is choaking Snape. She's too strong. But Snape sudenly hits her with his head in her head.*
Snape:Now were ae going to play some Rambo, and I'm Silvester Stalone!

[h0p3l3ssfr3ak]

Omg...lol..u guys are so funny...=P

woww..its been a LOOONNNGG time since sumone replied...I'll be the first one to reply from a LOOONNNGGG time...=)..hehe

I can't make good "Things They Will Never Say" thingy but let me try?...doesn't matter if anyone replies to mine ...its jsut for fun
-----
[b]Draco with old worn and torn teddy beat in arms: [/b]*singing* You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy,
When skys are gray.
You never know dear,
How much I love you.
So please don't take my sunshine away...

*Draco kisses teddy bear*
------
that was more "awww" than "LOL!"...but whatever

[Marcus Baker]

*Lucious Malfoy examining a labtop, and poking it with a stick*
*Draco Malfoy watches him with excitement*
Lucious: Ohh look son, i wonder what will happen if i press the [H] button??
*Letter [H] appears on the screen*
Malfoy: Ohhh, wow, thats amazing!!!
*Owl flys in to Lucious Malfoy. He opens the letter cautiously*

Dear Lucious malfoy:

You have been found misusing a muggle made product. We would like to advise you that this is Against the Misuse of Muggle artifacts decree 103: You may not type with labtops in a wizarding household. Anyone caught tampering with labtops and other muggle artifacts will be severaly fined. Your bill now reads 10000053 galleons. The Minstary would like to tell you to behave, and have a nice day!

Arthur Weasly
Misuse of Magical Artifacts

[Ferrus]

HAHAHAHA!!! this is just soooooooooo funny!!!!


How about:

Harry: Hi, Dudley! are you all right?
Dudley:*sobbing* n...no... th...that...evil person... that... m...Mark Evans!! h..he´s been.. bull... bulling me!! booohooo!!!!
Harry:No! He didnt! I know what Dudley!
Dudley: wh..what?
Harry: I`m gonna curse that Mark Evans till his ears fall of!!
Dudley: Th...thank you harry... I...I don´t know what I´d do without you!

[Jotomicron]

Hmm... My imagination is not very good today, but I'll make a try!!!

Mrs Weasley: Ron! Why don't you let your hair grow, like Bill! And you coudl wear an earring, and make a tatoo on your arm!

Kreacher: Master Sirius! I've got a Xmas present for you.
Sirius: Why... beloved Kreacher, you shouldn't...
Kreacher (in great excitment): Open it, open it!!!
*Sirius opens it and finds out it's a pair of socks*
Sirius: Amazing, Kreacher.
*Grabs Kreacher and gives him a great hug*

[Female_alien]

Gryffindors won the House Cup. Crabbe and Goyle are thrilles. They are carrying Harry on their shoulders with tears in their eyes and singing : "We are th champions my friend!!!!!!! We'll keep on fighting till the end!!!!! We are the champions, we are the champions! No time for loosers cause we are the champions - of the world!!! O Harry, we're so proud of you!"

[Jotomicron]

Just a quick one:
McGonagall: Hermione, hand over your homework, please.
Hermione: I can't professor, my cat ate it!

[Athena Appleton]

Anyone from Gryffendor: Hey, Fred! George! Pass me another one of those sweets!

Harry: Draco, we'd all really like it if you'd spend Christmas holiday with us at Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

Lupin's personal ad in the paper: I like to take long, romantic walks under the full moon.

Goyle: Hey, Crabbe! Look! Chocolate cakes suspended in midair! We should eat them greedily!
Crabbe: No, I think I'll just stick to this celery stick. I'm on the atkins diet.

[Athena Appleton]

Ron: Dean, that's really cool how the soccer players are all still in your poster! I mean, check it out, the photographer really did an excellent job capturing the essence of competativeness in one simple shot!