Crack of Sunlight

[FawkesthePhoenix]

Author's Note:
This is a song fic involving "I'm Not Dead" by P!nk.
Disclaimer:
I don't own Harry Potter, P!nk, the song, "I'm Not Dead" nor do I have any affiliation with either of them.
Enjoy!

Crack of Sunlight


The vaguest of rustling was the only warning to the fatal curse's arrival. Sirius had the merest glimpse of Harry's shocked face before he was falling, falling into a rip in time, a tattered space and world.

There's always cracks
a crack of sunlight
a crack in the mirror
or on your lips

A fog stole over Sirius's gaze as the veil obstructed his vision. Why couldn't he move? Simply swipe aside the semblance and rejoin the fight? His godson was there, Harry needed him, why did he have to go now? The temperature drooped, sagging towards freezing, but Sirius could not feel the cold. The mist was clearing, but it wasn't the Department of Mysteries that he now set his eyes upon. Some sort of waterside, reminiscent of his days on the run in the south dominated the landscape now. Sirius's mind soured as his mother walked into view. Sirius realized that he shouldn't be surprised. I mean, after all, he had assured his mum that he would see her in Hell the last time she made contact.

It's the morning on a sunset Friday
When all conversations twist

“Sirius.” Mrs. Black greeted him, for once without the scorn she usually inserted into everything she said to him.
“Mother.” Sirius nodded coldly.
“So, who did it?”
“My dear cousin, Bellatrix.” Sirius near spat the words.
“Sirius, I want to tell you something.” his mother had an oddly civil expression on her face, almost peaceful.
“Go on.” Sirius's voice was condescending.
“It's about death. The world back there, it doesn't matter anymore, you'll never go back--”
“You think I don't know that?” Sirius interrupted, “You think I don't know that I'll never witness the fall of Voldemort? That I'll never walk into the Ministry, or Hogwarts, or anywhere, as a free man?” his voice broke on the last two words, but his tone never lost the venom.

It's the fifth day of ice on a new tattoo
But the ice should be on our heads

“You did what you though was right, so that others could benefit from your choices.” His mum went on, undeterred, even when Sirius broke in again.
“I did what I wanted to, because I felt like it!” he burst out, “It had nothing to do with 'the right thing'! It just so happened that my whim was the right one!”

We only spun the web to catch ourselves
So we weren't left for dead

“That doesn't matter,” she insisted, “Despite of what I think, you did what you believed in, and that's always been a quality the Black family has cherished.” his mother hesitated before saying, “And- And... I'm proud of you, son.”
“Where did all this virtue come from? Since when have you even regarded me as more than a splotch on your family tree?” Sirius's voice and head was a surplus of confusion, hurt, and surprise. He didn't want to admit it, he wouldn't admit it. He would never confess to caring what his mother thought.

And I was never looking for approval
From anyone but you
And though this journey's over
I'd go back if you asked me to

“Like I said,” Mrs. Black stated calmly. “It doesn't matter anymore. The 'living' world, it's all just a dream here. A ghost of the present.”
But Sirius wasn't paying attention. Something had awoken in his subconscious, a voice. He could hear Harry, clear and bright as day.
“SIRIUS!”
It may have been completely imaginary, but it was there all the same. Sirius listened harder.
“SIRIUS! NO! HE'S NOT DEAD!”
And another voice, calmer and softer. Remus's.
“He's gone, Harry. Nothing will bring him back.”
NO! Sirius wanted to shout. NO! I'M NOT DEAD! I'M HERE! But he knew no one would ever hear him, not anymore. No matter how long or loud he shrieked and screamed, the most anyone back there would ever hear are a few whispers, some murmurs and subtle mutterings, incomprehensible and quiet.

I'm not dead, just floating
Right between the ink on your tattoo
In the belly of the beast we turned into
I'm not scared, just changing
Right behind the cigarette and the devilish smile
You're my crack of sunlight

Sirius turned away from the voices, barely containing the tears. Someday, he might be able to look back on this and laugh. But definitely not today. He couldn't handle it. Like salt in the wound, it hurt no matter the way it goes in. Sirius looked back to the water, and saw that his mother had left. Good, he didn't want to see her.

You can do the math a thousand ways
But you can't erase the facts

Two other figures were walking towards him now, a man and a woman. A few more moments of scrutiny revealed them to be Lily and James. Sirius gave a wane smile and waved.
“How?” James asked.
“Bellatrix.” Sirius shrugged, “I can't say I'm terribly surprised.”
“It's nice to see you again,” Lily said, “Despite the circumstances.”
“Shame I couldn't have been a better godfather.” Sirius muttered, “I owe Voldemort a good slap in the face when he gets up here.”

That others come and others go
But you'll always come back

“How's Harry?' James asked. Lily's face became anxious.
“He made you proud, sure enough. Started a secret organization for students to fight against Voldemort and the Ministry's current regime. Called it 'Dumbledore's Army'.” Lily gave a nervous laugh.
“Is he okay?” she looked almost scared of what the answer might be.
“As far as I know, yes.” Sirius began pacing, muttering, “I hope they're all caught, the Death Eaters, the lot of them. They deserve worse than Azkaban. And they'll get it, once they die.” Sirius glowered.

I'm the winter flower underground
Always thirsty for summer rain
And just like the changing seasons
I know you'll be back again

“Calm down, Padfoot.” James warned, “It's not worth it.” Sirius wanted to scream at him. Yes, it was worth it! Of course it was worth it! And then, he heard the voices again, echoing through his mind.
“He's gone, Harry. Nothing will bring him back.”

I'm not dead, just floating
Right between the ink on your tattoo
In the belly of the beast we turned into
I'm not scared, just changing
Right behind the cigarette and the devilish smile
You're my crack of sunlight

“Alright.” Sirius heard himself say, “I'll let it go. For now.”
“Good,” James seemed appeased, “Try to forget about it, there's loads we've got to show you, it's great that...” But Sirius was no longer listening. A dull echo of Bellatrix's fleeting laugh still resonated throughout his consciousness, filling him with a grim, dark sense of purpose. He might rest his case for now, but he would not forget about.
“You've got to die sometime, Bella, and I'll be here, waiting.” he murmured quietly, “Sooner or later,” he thought once more of his godson, wishing him the best. “I will find you.”

I'm not dead just yet
I'm not dead, I'm just floating
Doesn't matter where I'm going, I will find you
I'm not scared at all

Underneath the cuts and bruises find the game where no one loses

I'll find you
I will find you
I'm not dead, just floating
I'm not scared, just changing

You're my crack of sunlight

[DucksRMagical]

I love it! The lyrics fit it perfectly and you give us a good look at what the afterlife could be like. As I said to you last night, no one knows what it will be like, so it's interesting to see what everyone's interpretation is. And I like how you had Mrs. Black say that nothing from the previous world mattered anymore.