by gadfly22 » Friday 29 July 2005 7:29:52pm
Lord Voldemort and the Palantir Quest: Chapter One
"Wormtongue! Come here! QUickly!"
Peter Pettigrew picked up the pace of his pained shuffle and entered Lord Voldemort's main chamber. He-who-must-not-be-named was sitting in a chintze-covered armchair that was itself perched precariously on four piles of books, one leg on each pile. A kitchen stepladder permitted Voldemort to ascend his throne with as much grace as the book piles -- one of which was clearly shorter than the others -- would permit.
"Wormtongue...."
"Wormtail, sir."
"Whatever. Wormtongue, I wish for you to go and fetch me a palantir."
Wormtail sighed.
"A what, my Lord?"
"A palantir. A seeing stone that will allow me to spy upon my enemies from afar. I have learned that all the top wizards have one, so I should have one too. Go get me one."
"And where shall I get this palantir from, my Lord?"
Voldemort frowned. It was one of his "sour lemon" frowns -- a phrase that Wormtail had learned not to even think in Voldemort's presence -- in which his entire face pinched together, the middle of his upper lip trying desperately to touch his formidable eyebrows.
"I have learned that one may be acquired from a certain boy. I do not know his name, but he calls himself "E Boy". Now go!"
Wormtail sighed again. Voldemort had once again wandered too close to some Muggle artifacts, despite Peter's best efforts.
"Erm...sir? Would that be "EBay"?", he asked.
Voldemort blinked.
"Perhaps. Even so, go fetch me a palantir." Voldemort assumed a regal pose on his chair, marred slightly by a sudden shift of his armchair throne on its uneven book pillars.
Pettigrew began slouching back to his room. He had foreseen this. Ever since that mailing had arrived from the Sauron Fan Club, Peter had been expecting trouble. Luckily, he was well prepared. Reaching his own room, he fumbled under his cot for a heavy box. Carefully, he pulled out a shining black globe, buffed to an opalescent sheen.
"This better work," he mumbled to himself as he hurried back to Voldemort's chamber. He had been busy polishing the heavy globe for several days. He had almost succeeded in wearing away the "Brunswick" logo, but the three fingerholes were still clearly there. He would just have to explain to Voldemort that they were intended to make the palantir more portable. Yes, that was the ticket, he thought. This is a laptop model palantir, Lord. Very portable. Plus. if they ever organize a Dark Wizard's Bowling League, you'll be all set.
To Be Continued....