Which girl would you like to see Harry be with?

[Just Mom]

Nothing condescending was implied. Your opinions are fine and proof of them is welcome. Who knows? You might change my mind if you show me "chapter and verse" so to speak. I'm always open to new ideas.

[Tanuki]

http://www.hp-lexicon.org/essays/essay-harry-hermione.html

Go there, it convinced me

[Phoenix in the Ashes]

OK people, breathe sloooooooowly and think happy thoughts.
I'm sick of all these topics, they just bore me now. Sooner or later we'll all find out that half the people on this site are wrong, and half are right. I just hope I'm right. And I don' care what that link says, (yes I've read it) nothing will convince me that Harry & Hermione should be together, until I read it in the book.

[Just Mom]

It's a well-written article.

This one is pretty good too.

http://www.hp-lexicon.org/essays/essay-harry-ginny.html

[Phoenix in the Ashes]

Now that article i like . I'm just not that big of a fan of Hermione and Harry getting together lol.

[Lexi_potter]

I read both essays, and liked them both. I still want to see HArry and Hermione together.

[thestral]

may i applaud the heroic and frank dicussion of the true nature of love by the stalwart souls tanuki and just mom (you changed your name!). also so very touched that you remembered me mom, ah heathcliff and i have to read anne of green gables! i'm a ridicoulously sentimental female (hence my love of wuthering heights) and she breaks a slate over his head! i love a spirited gal. (spirited/violent, take your pick).

i would love to add my opiinion to this discussion and sorry tanuki but i'm supporting mom, maybe girls see love differently than guys but it's true you do sometimes have to brerak a slate over a guy's head to get him to notice you like him. my current situation is very messed, up, a guy and me for 2 years we make awkward passes at each other yet the only thing that happens is NOTHING!!!! so instead we fight bicker and ARGUE until we are blue in the face. and yes guys do mature slower so they don't see something right in front of them. also i can see why hermione was going crazy at ron at the yule ball, there's nothing worse than being treated like you're not a female and people ignoring the fact that you might actually be quite attractive until you put on a dress and all of a sudden they're like wow, you look really great cos it never ocurred to them that you may actually have a figure. sorrt a rant of my own annoyances. but to a girl it's so obvious that ron and hermione are attracted but when it comes to matters of the heart we all become hideously inept at expressing ourselves. i'm too proud to say i like the guy and he's too proud to admit he likes me so the dance continues and i can see the same thing with ron and hermy. there's no argument about it, ron and hermione will end up together, the sexual tension will just get too much and it'll all come out in a big higgly-piggly (never actually written that down before) mess. love dammit it, it always gets us damn sentimental fools.

[Just Mom]

Thestral where have you been? I've missed you! And yes, I changed my name. I'm taking a long sabbatical from "work," to being "just mom" for awhile, especially since #4 is due June 4. 4 kids 8 and under is a full-time job all own its own.

Yes, there are some "quieter couples," out there but most of the ones I personally know old and young that became committed couples, start out rather hilariously and the numbers of those who don't like each other that get together (at first) is astonishing. I thought the Yule Ball exchange was so obvious that it amazes me how anyone could interpret it otherwise. (but I respect the dissenting view.) And again, the little hand-holding exchange in the movie of PoA (that isn't in the book I don't think) seems again, to point out the obvious.

I wish I could list all the bizarre outbursts I had with my husband while we were trying to figure out if we liked each other, much less whether or not to have a date and even a second and third date. It took us forever to get off the ground. On one occasion he asked me to follow him (his car needed repair) somewhere so that I could give him a ride home after he dropped it off. I was hoping he'd give me some sort of "sign," that he was interested (so that then I could mess with his head and play it cool.) He was, but he wasn't giving anything away. So instead of saying, "Well let's go get a burger," or "What are you doing this afternoon?" he never said a word and I just took him home. I was so angry (felt rejected) with him that I went back to my house and cut every piece of shrubbery I had in the yard down to ground. Now how's that for neurotic? And the next time I saw him I wouldn't speak to him but couldn't say why and he thought I, was "completely mental," until I explained it to him later on in a moment of genuine communication. Turns out he'd been waiting for me to issue an invitation on that particular afternoon so that he could do the same thing I'd been planning to do. At anyrate, 14 years later, we communicate much better now, having fallen into the Arthur and Molly Weasley phase of our lives. (poor, bunch of kids, but almost goofy- happy.)

Love that "higgly-piggly" phrase.

[Tanuki]

(spirited/violent, take your pick).

i would love to add my opiinion to this discussion and sorry tanuki but i'm supporting mom, maybe girls see love differently than guys but it's true you do sometimes have to brerak a slate over a guy's head to get him to notice you like him. my current situation is very messed, up, a guy and me for 2 years we make awkward passes at each other yet the only thing that happens is NOTHING!!!! so instead we fight bicker and ARGUE until we are blue in the face. and yes guys do mature slower so they don't see something right in front of them.

but to a girl it's so obvious that ron and hermione are attracted but when it comes to matters of the heart we all become hideously inept at expressing ourselves.

i'm too proud to say i like the guy and he's too proud to admit he likes me so the dance continues and i can see the same thing with ron and hermy. there's no argument about it, ron and hermione will end up together. love dammit it, it always gets us damn sentimental fools.

I prefer to call these girls Akane types (research Ranma 1/2 for understanding)

As for men maturing slower. I really hate hearing that. Granted, my opinion of my peers is not great. But this superiority thing women seemed to have developed as regards maturity is more environmental than naything, and it is held on to so tightly so mendon't feel guilty about dating younger women and women can have something over men. Both being outdated concepts

Also, on the discrepancy of getting your crush or whatever to notice you, men have a hard time too owing to a rather large inferiority complex (interdispersed with egocentric fools). They never feel like they can admit their feelings to the women they like.

I also need to reiterrate that they may be attracted to each other, but if they were to hook up, they would be miserable a sizable chunk of the time. What good is a relationship where communication can't occour and considering the sizable gap in thi personalities, how would they communicate, it would degenerate into arguments more than anything actually productive. You may think it romantic, but I personally think someone would grow weary of it after a while

Sentimental fools are just that, fools. Thinking pragmatically is the way to go. It's not easy, but once you shut off your emotions, life is so much easier to live, and you really don't miss them

As far as your situation is concerned with your male friend. It sounds to me like your arguments stem from your inability to express your feelings, not the other way around. Might i suggest involving a third party. It does tend to make thins easier if there is someone who wont feel so embarassed saying the things you want to in your place. A go-between if you will

[Just Mom]

[

As for men maturing slower. I really hate hearing that. Granted, my opinion of my peers is not great. But this superiority thing women seemed to have developed as regards maturity is more environmental than naything, and it is held on to so tightly so mendon't feel guilty about dating younger women and women can have something over men. Both being outdated concepts

This is not quite right. It's pretty well-established even scientifically according to studies of the brain and studies in the area of emotional intelligence that women do have a little something extra in the maturity department. Most fully-grown men, who have some semblance of self-awareness, will admit this to generally be true. It takes quite awhile, like in your 30s and 40s, for many guys to "get it" in terms of relationships, intimacy, etc.

Also, on the discrepancy of getting your crush or whatever to notice you, men have a hard time too owing to a rather large inferiority complex (interdispersed with egocentric fools). They never feel like they can admit their feelings to the women they like.

Inferiority complexes belong to individuals who are generally not very emotionally mature.

I also need to reiterrate that they may be attracted to each other, but if they were to hook up, they would be miserable a sizable chunk of the time.

There's no way this can be plausibly predicted this as time does not stand still. People grow, mature, change, every moment.

Sentimental fools are just that, fools. Thinking pragmatically is the way to go. It's not easy, but once you shut off your emotions, life is so much easier to live, and you really don't miss them

I think that pretty much speaks for itself. You can't engage in emotional issues and get anywhere at all, if you're not in touch with your emotions. See any therapist that specializes in the Jungian disciplines.

As far as your situation is concerned with your male friend. It sounds to me like your arguments stem from your inability to express your feelings, not the other way around. Might i suggest involving a third party. It does tend to make thins easier if there is someone who wont feel so embarassed saying the things you want to in your place. A go-between if you will

This too, is not mature. Mature men and women learn ("learn" being the operative word there) to communicate honestly and directly. It takes awhile though. Most folks know that too many cooks spoil the soup. Best to deal one on one.

[Tanuki]

Not all forms of communication are direct, and sometimes, a fresh perspective is helpful in saying the things we could not have thought of

Humans are strangely short-sighted when it comes to speaking to the people we're close to. With the help of at least one person, you can get certains things in the open more easily and then learn to communicate with your certain someone on a more personal level, but without assistance, some things will never get said

[Just Mom]

Sounds like passing he said/she notes in study hall...

Communication usually gets muddled when it comes through someone else unless the someone else is a well-trained professional mediator.

[Tanuki]

tru, but at least stuff gets said. Anyway, therapy is a good way to go when you've established a relationship. when starting a relationship, busybodies work

[thestral]

i missed you too mom!!!! damn computer broke for lkike a month and i was deprived of all internet contact . i pity you and admire you for being brave enought o take on 4 young children. also tanuki, a life where you shut out all emotions??!! how would you live? why don't you just go and live in a test tube? yes you get hurt and god knows i have been hurt and probably hurt others but that's how you learn and mature. i've had really embarrassing stupid teenage experiences but you know what i really don't know if i would take them back cos even your bad experiences teach you something valuable. and i'm so stupid i only learn until everything does go hideously wrong, i think most people are the same. and third parties although good for impartial advice and helping you to see the bigger picture, i wouldn't want anyone else to speak for me. my emotions, my feelings, i'll say how i feel when i'm good and ready(and when he stops being an arrogant arse ). hey mom i love your description of your romantic trials, i don't have a car yet (damn insurance) but i do get drunk and yell abuse at my male friend, who then reminds me of it in an annoyingly superior manner the next week. fun.

but i'm waffling about me, come on tanuki it's obvious they're meant to be together and although they do have contrasting personalities, ron gets fired up and hermy calms him down. sometimes if you're two very different people their strengths are your weaknesses and together (when you get over your fight-each other-every-inch-of-the-way phase) will work together better than similar personalities. if someone is different to you then they show you a perspective you nver saw before and that stops you getting yourself into a mental rut. and although ron and hermy are terribly inept at expressing their feelings now, they'll learn and mature everytime more every time they miscommunicate and have to sort out the mess. like mom, they started out unable to even ask each other out but now experience and maturity has taught them to communicate and ron and hermy are the same , they'll learn, they'll just have a few hiccups along the way.

[Tanuki]

Hermy doesn't calm him down. If anything, she just makes him more upset. If anything, she keeps Harry in check and tells him when he's being stupid. Ron seems to be there to encourage Harry's recklessness. There is also such a thing as too dissimilar

Harry seems to be the one benefitting most from Hermy's personality. He's the one who has the experiences that need her touch the most.

If you read GoF, you see how Hermy reacts only after Harry starts staring at Cho, and I know she was supportive in OotP, but somehow this feels more like Harry was being trained for a relationship. He even admits he thinks Hermy is attractive