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This Phineas’ series isn’t the first fic I’ve written but the first I’ve written in English and the first one I put online.
BTW – I know the noble and most ancient family in Phineas’ times still bore the name ’’Nigellus’’ but ’’Black’’ fits into many plays on words
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P.S.: All the parts are about Phineas of flesh and blood *sigh*, only the OoTP part is about him as a portrait.
P.P.S.: If I only knew the title of book 7!!!
P.P.P.S.: Enjoy!
P.P.P.P.S.: If anyone has some spare energy and wants to review me, wellcome! But I’ll be on holiday soon so I won’t be much online. So don’t get mad that I’m ignoring the feedback, please!
Phineas Nigellus and the Philosopher’s Stone
He’s always wanted a life till infinity – it was his maxime, of course together with his family’s moto toujour pur. A neverending life is quite common Slytherin ambition.
But he had rather devoted his life to socially visible career (Headmaster) than being a social nobody, a labo-rat in alchimistic laboratory. So he didn’t manage to make his own Philosoper’s stone.
Thanks to his prominent career itself he got to know his future wife. Ne had no more heart of a stone and his new philosophy was the love till death.
A/N: Sorry for speaking about love here, I usually bash it on forum, but I couldn’t resist
… had to give my fav character sth. special in life, right? So little things actually touch him, poor spoilt guy … 
Phineas Nigellus and the Chamber of Secrets
Being Headmaster wasn’t a difficult job for him – a Black is born to give orders rather than to fulfil them. Being Black means to fix new standards for black humor, to examine your immaculate black silky gloves (biker Sirius is an exception), to throw menacing looks from under black hair at anyone who disobeys you and to practice black magic in spare time (a note for Phinea Rogue: no time for poisonous white roses!).
However there was still something challenging about his job – that annoying detail nearly got his ego badly! Despite his extensive knowledge about the Dark Arts Phineas could never find the Chamber of Secrects. Later, when he hung in Dumbledore’s office, he found out why he couldn’t. This revelation gave a boost to his portrayed ego: of course he couldn’t have found the Chamber, for he wasn’t the Heir of Slytherin but much better: the Heir of Black!
A/N: I just love CoS
– the best HP book so far so no wonder I really enjoyed writing my Phineas Nigellus and the Chamber of Secrets. Besides, I love wounded male egos .
Phineas Nigellus and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Like every prominent polititian or academician Phineas also had to visit Azkaban. It really wasn’t his favourite idea of how to spend an enjoyable afternoon but even a Black has to go with the flow sometimes.
Unable to evade trip to the North Sea Phineas spent the morning in gazing at his gloves, scratching his pointed beard and collecting happy thoughts to produce his Patronus, an oversized silvery silky glove. He had succedded at it many times, but never in such extreme conditions as waited for him in Azkaban.
Phineas felt pressure of his family name: a true Black is always ready for everything, even for a Dementor atack, but Phineas had made a really poor job so far.
Most of events he had attended were his boring duties, not fulfilment. He was (like too intelligent and too spoilt aristocrats) indifferent to most things around him and only a few had provoked him. Why? He had hardly met any challenge in life … and we know that hapiness is born of a challenge you deal with successfully.
Finally he thought of his wife’s attempt to poison him: “That’s it – a happy thought: revenge! What poison shall I use?” His hands (in gloves of course) were already in his study’s ’’minibar’’ but he suddenly changed his mind: “Salazar’s beard, how come I’ve forgotten?! I can’t poison her now, nor for the next 6 months – she’s pregnant and I want my heir to be healthy … my heir – he 's the happy thought!”
Well … 6 months later, she was perfectly healthy heiress.
A/N: Well, it’s strange again I’m doing this b/c I’m not maternal at all and I’m very feministic but in theese times most men were only concerned about getting sons to carry on the family name …
Once had to express not my feministic rage but the feeling of that age 
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Phineas Nigellus and the Goblet of Fire
Phineas was, as we know, thirsty of proving himself. The Triwizard Tournament would be a good chance for that but unfortunatelly the Tournament was banned (also because of the cockatrice incident in 1792) just during the time Phineas could have attended it.
“I’ve never been able to put my name into the Goblet of Fire … well, I can put my problems in a glass of Firewhisky anytime …”
A/N: This can’t be his only true philosophy – I can’t imagine Phineas as a drunk. But surely he excelled
at oenology, knowing the best (Slovenian, French, Portugal, …) wines.
Phineas Nigellus and the Order of the Phoenix
“Damnit – all the others have nothing to do, it’s always me! I have to visit my despicable, disrespectful descendant, not worth carrying my family name, not worthy living in the house he’s profaning day after day! Ungrateful b*****d is driving my dear great-granddaughter mad! I only knew her when I was already a painting but she’s always been a Black with heart and soul. No, I’ll not respond to Dumbledore’s call, let him and the horde of red-heads wait a bit longer …! Oh, no, even my colleagues are calling me, louder and louder … I’m even too lazy to pretend I have just woken up … They’ll know I was faking but I just don’t care …”
A/N: Sirius fans, sorry for Sirius bashing – but I think Phineas wouldn’t be too pleased about his great-great-grandson if he has to stop eavesdroping interesting events just to carry a message to Sirius
. Anyway, later in OoTP I was really surprised how much Phineas cared about him. Or just about a new Black heir? 
Phineas Nigellus and the Half Blood Prince
“I’ve dropped my plans to poison my wife – she’s punished enough by morning sickness,” Phineas thought absentmindedly, caressing his gloves. Next moment the would-be victim was running to bathroom but she never made it. Distastefully displayed bits of breakfast ended on his brand-new silky piece of clothing and he was, in language of today, totally p***d off. And we all know, it’s bad if Headmaster Nigellus gets only slightly irritated early in the morning. All the Hogwarts actually suffers the consequences. When Phineas arrived at work (not just slightly irritated) the first person/thing he met was the devilish poltergeist. With a just too polite bow Peeves asked: “Lovely morning, your Headmastership! Did your wife mistake you for vomit bucket again?”
Poltergeist was too bright to wait for the response, but Phineas didn’t really care. How unusual for him! Even Blacks look at the bright side of live sometimes and even such mockery was worth for getting the new Black family name bearer, the pure blood princess.
A/N: Usually I’m not fan of vomit-jokes
but I couldn’t resist of profaning his gloves 
What I really love is that a man who wants a male descendant (there still live such horrible men!!!) gets a daughter – it serves him right
! In real life: poor little girl 
! In HP-verse: the pure blood princess was Phineas’ pride and joy . If only she didn’t immitate Peeves the poltergeist .
so I bash them! (ok, I know, this was standard in Victorian age, in Phin's time!)
