Fan Fiction challenges

[Quicksilver]

Okay. Here are the rules. You're fic must include these things-



pepper spray and mace (heh...)

Ron the canibal ( )

Donkeys doing the Can Can....

Mary Poppins riding past on a large pink plastic spoon for no apparent reason.

The Three Musketeers dressed in spandex, afros, and platform slippers with little goldfishies inside...

Super flying bottles of baby powder

The Fellowship of the rings all doing the macarena

A phone which rings throughout the entire story, which nobody ever picks up.

You must NOT Use-
The color red
Any romantic pairing
An unusual amount of sanity.

Try it!

[werebane]

Ok i'll try. Here it goes. This is my first fic. I hope it's ok

Harry Potter and the Chaos Dreams


It was Christmas day, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione had just got back from the feast.
"Oh man, what was that thing from exploding snap?" a confused Ron asked
" Honestly Ron see why you should take Muggle Studies, this is a can of pepper sparay and mace. Here i'll show you how to use it."
Right then Crookshanks jumped on her and she hit Ron in the eyes with the mace.
" Owww you stupid b**** your gonna die. AVADA KADAVRA" he shouted. Then he jumped on her and started nawing on her lower intestines.
" Harry, HARRY, HARRYYY"
Harry Potter awoke with a start.
" Harry are you ok? You were rolling over in bed saying 'Ron you sick a**whole'"
" Yea i'm fine, what day is it? Can you guys hear a phone ringing?"
" A what?" Ron asked
" It's Christmas Harry. Are you sure your ok?" a worried Hermione asked



More to come soon

[Quicksilver]

Jus 4 fun.


"Will someone pick up the D@mn phone?" Ron shouted as he messly devoured Malfoy. He licked his chops and began
picking around with his fork for a better peice of liver.
"Hey Ron, you eat it rare?" asked Harry, chewing on a Crabbe finger.
"At least I don't BBQ mine." he said with disgust."And whats Hermione doing riding with Mary Poppins on that giant pink
spoon?"
"Dunno. Maybe it's something of Hagrids. He seems to like pink."
"I know, but whats with Poppins?"

He and Harry suddenly ducked a viscious onslaught on the Ferocious Flying Baby Powder.
"Ahh! Run for your life!" shouted Colin running past. "The baby products! They're alive!!"

"Stayin alive! Stayin alive!

"Suddenly a platform opens up in front of them and the three musketeers appear onstage with Aphros, platform shoes with
technicolor goldfish swimming inside. Dressed in pink yellow and blue spandex, the 3 musketeers were singing "Staying
Alive" and dancing to a disco ball. Harry joined in eyeing the lead singer hungrily.

Suddenly the dancers stopped as the phone rang louder.
"Shut up."
Quickly something grey and hairy (Not Harry) swept past them and on to the platform. It was donkeys in cowboy suits
doing the can can. The dancers immediatly brouight out their mace and pepper spray (Because due to the recent attacks on
fan fic characters all Musketmen in spandex and all canibals must be armed with mnace, pepperspray, or any eye burning
product within reach. For more information, call you're operator for a life)

Now, the two canibal brothers were tangoing, so all of them decided to hold a story-wide dance.

"Here come the hobbits!" creid Ron.
The Fellowship of the Ring danced on dping the macarena. Soon followed by the cat in hat and Sam I Am riverdancing.
The night was a huge sucess and everyone danced happily ever after. Except Ron, who slipped in a pile of donkey poo
and broke his nose. He later sued them for over 5 million galleons and the dispute was brought on to the Jerry Springer
show in which ROn broke his nose again.

THE END


*phone rings*
*Mary poppins flies over*
"Hahaha! I'll get you my pretty! And you're little penguin too! SURRENDER TOTO!!!"

THE REAL END

*All characters in above story dance past in a conga line, except Ron who's in a wheelchair*
"Conga conga conga!"
Harry pulls out a limbo line
"How low can you go?!"

THE REALLY REAL END

Max the Can-Can donkey trots past chewing on Mary Poppins umbrella. Is dragged away by several large farmers who
look like both of them had one two many cartons of eggnog.
Hermione runs by with a
SAVE THE DONKEYS sign and screams about farm animal rights with her crazed goat following, chewing on the
remains of the umbrella.

THE FINAL END IN WHICH NO OTHER THING SHALL TAKE PLACE

I lie.
*Jumps into party scene at the Malfoy Manor*
Malfoy hula's past followed by Snape in a tutu.
*phone rings*
*phone is smashed because the Malfoys switched from Verizon to AT&T and the nasty credit agents are back for
revenge*

[Wedge]

LMAO, weldone Werebane! AND Quicksilver LMAO! Quicksilver yours roxors too! Its funnnnyy! lemme try... tis funny

~*~
Harry Potter and the Quest for sanity.

Harry, Ron and Hermione walked slowly out of the library, looking around. The castle seemed naturally quiet, and it felt very eerie...
They suddenly bumped into Draco Malfoy, whom was dressed in a pink doublet, with his two goons who were dessed in tight swim suits.
'Ah Potter!' Draco greeted him in a high pitched squeal 'Nice to see you!' Harry gulped.
'What the hell?' Suddenly Draco drew out a can of pepper spray and mace and sprayed it at them, Squealing in satisfaction.
'It'll make you smell nice!' He said. Harry cried out in anguish.
'Everyone's gone mad!' He exclaimed. Ron and Hermione meerely nodded. They made their way to the great hall, for lunch, but nearly fainted at what they saw. Upon the table were donkeys, linked hand in hand, doing the can can. Everyone around was clapping and cheering them, as the fellowship of the ring jumped onto the stage, and started to do the maccarena, over the top of them flew May Poppins, hanging onto her Pink plastic spoon like mad, it was just insanity all messed up.
They quickly ran away as The Three Musketeers dressed in spandex, afros, and platform slippers with little goldfishies inside (a/n lol copied and pasted directly from the challenge, as you can tell ) came onto stage, directly followed by a pole dancing Minerva McGongall. Harry shivered at the meer thought.
'Whats that ringing noise?' Harry asked suddenly. Hermione shook her head.
'I don't know! I heard it ringing as we went past here before! It must have been ringing all the time!'
Harry remembered something taht he had once seen on the Muggle movie 'the matrix'
'Maybe its an exit out of insanity!' He said, excitedly, while Hermione glared at some high powered nuclear thermal super flying bottles of baby powder that was flying past them, towards the great hall.
Suddenly, Ron pulled out a gun, and shot Hermione, savagely. He grinned at Harry, who was reaching towards the phone.
'You'll make a great feast' Harry quickly with drew his hand from the phone.
'What?!' he exclaimed in anguish.
'Fool!' Ron retorted 'I was responsible for all this insanity! Now i will eat you!' Harry jumped towards the phone, but never made it.
Ron cackled with glee as Harry fell to the ground. Summoning fourth his army of chickens, he lit his overn, and put an apple in Harry's mouth.

~*~
lmao! How was that, i probably didn't meet all the challanges, but it was still fun and amusing to write, thanks for that Quicksilver, Its quite a decent challenge, funny too!

[Quicksilver]

Innit funny!

[Deedra Malfoy]

This doesn't apply:

And there stood Snape in his office, doing the Can Can in a speedo for everyone to see.

Ron enters, and the scene is full of violence, bolld, and a ripped speedo.