Fred is normal George is italics.
[b:3ukelwwa]THE SNAPE FILES[/b:3ukelwwa]
Hello. Fred and George Weasly here bringing you Snape Files. It is our sworn duty and main objective to make our completely unhumorus Potions Master smile, laugh, give 50 points to Gryffindor or all of the above.
We will be using several new methods and a few used many a time by our idols Mssrs Moony Wormtail Padfoot and Prongs.
[i:3ukelwwa]Noble men. We owe our success to them. And we are using our knowledge of pranks, jokes, and everything else to make Snape laugh. (Or giggle)[/i:3ukelwwa]
Didn’t we make him laugh last week George?
[i:3ukelwwa]No, Fred, I would have to say that was more of an evil cackle.[/i:3ukelwwa]
Ah. Anyway, although this task may seem impossible to you mere mortals, we have long decided nothing is impossible for
[i:3ukelwwa]*X-files music plays*[/i:3ukelwwa]
[i:3ukelwwa]The twins Gred and Forge.[/i:3ukelwwa]
[b:3ukelwwa]DAY 1[/b:3ukelwwa]
Ahem. This is proving to be more difficult than we thought.
[i:3ukelwwa]Well, we were close, but I think it was because we now have to clean out green house 4. Hmmm..[/i:3ukelwwa]
Yes, it’s a pity he knows our work so well. Our report then.
[b:3ukelwwa]TEST SPECIMEN:[/b:3ukelwwa] Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts
[b:3ukelwwa]EXPIRAMENT:[/b:3ukelwwa] Today we decided to start simple and go for a small smile, not a sneer, or forced out of politeness.
[i:3ukelwwa]Although Snape isn’t what you’d call polite.[/i:3ukelwwa]
A real smile ladies and gentlemen.
[b:3ukelwwa]TIME:[/b:3ukelwwa] [i:3ukelwwa]3rd period Potions class with the Slytherins[/i:3ukelwwa]
[b:3ukelwwa]MATERIALS:[/b:3ukelwwa]
1 ) 1 canary cream
2) 3 toads (must be warty)
3) several slytherins
[i:3ukelwwa](stir well, add a dash of Odgens old wirewhisy and shake until chaos ensues)[/i:3ukelwwa]
[b:3ukelwwa]PROCEDURE:[/b:3ukelwwa]
[i:3ukelwwa]First, Fred sneaked some Odgens old Firewhiskey into Warringtons waterbottle. This precaution was extremely nesessary. Halfway through the incredibly boring class he was already rather tipsy.
Next, after Warrington upset his cauldron and spilled his shrinking solution onto his….er….private quaarters and began jumping up and down shouting and yelping, I banished three toads into Fancy Madisons blouse. She too began the panic dance.[/i:3ukelwwa]
Snape began ordering everyone to calm down. Well, if your nesessary body parts are shrinking, or you had three frogs in your shirt, would you calm down? Of course not. And if you were just an innocent bystander merely watching this comical scene, would you calm down? It’s doubtful. The gryffindors were completely helpless with laughter. Then Snape,
[i:3ukelwwa]the party pooper[/i:3ukelwwa]
Cast immobilizing charms on everyone and we all stopped moving. He finaly sorted everything out and sent Warrington to the infirmary. And then he gave us all his ‘I hate you little buggers so run away if you know whats good for you’ glare.
[i:3ukelwwa]Then he said “WEASLY! SEE ME AFTER CLASS!” really loud and almost broke my eardrums[/i:3ukelwwa]
Yeah. But we got him back right?
[i:3ukelwwa]*snickers* Yup. Then he flumped down behind his desk and took a swig of whatever he keeps in that goblet.[/i:3ukelwwa]
And it just so hapened that we had previously placed the Canary Cream into that goblet.
[i:3ukelwwa]Well I always say canaries make good potions masters. Actually he looked more like a crow. Obviously the cream didn’t react well with the drink, so he didn’t molt, as is usual with the creams.[/i:3ukelwwa]
Actually, it only does that with alcohol. Think he was drinking on the job?
[i:3ukelwwa]Most likely.[/i:3ukelwwa]
[b:3ukelwwa]CONCLUSION:[/b:3ukelwwa] Snape is a very ugly bird. There was no smile, until after he assigned us our detention, and that was malicious. Doesn’t count.
[i:3ukelwwa]Our first day was a failure Fred. But we shall not give up![/i:3ukelwwa]
Not a failure George! Potions classes are cancelled until further notice,and we’ve been receiving praise all day.
