Summer Vacation

[crystallised_pineapple]

LOL he he go ron and hermione!!

[child of darkness]

lol that made me laugh it is good keep it up

[harry_loves_ginny]

u understood that uncomfortable moment meant!!!

[child of darkness]

lol yeah!

man this must require alot of spare time to write these maybe when i get holidays i will write on too, there isn't too many around at the moment

[harry_loves_ginny]

the four of them walk into the cottage

I call this bedroom!!! ron shouts

Hey ron... help me put the bags in the closet, u know the one in front? hermie says.

uh... ya! he replies.

they walk away

When hermione came over they went alot of places together ALL ALONE!!!
ginny said

hmmm.... lets follow them! harry said

they walked slowlyandsilentlytothe closet door and heard something

ginny ran to the nearest bathroom and gagged literally.

when they came out all ginny and harry could do was stare

ron and hermione turned red

crookshanks jumped out and wrapped around ron's legs

harry burst out laughing

gosh just a sec i GOTTA send fred and georgea howler! ginny giggled

ron and hermione stared evily

to be continued...

[child of darkness]

keep going i didnt think part was as good as the rest but you can earn it back! try making less typos and make it longer next time!

[Phoenix in the Ashes]

"Ever heard of speech marks?" I said.
"It's hard to follow."

[harry_loves_ginny]

"Ever heard of speech marks?" I said.
"It's hard to follow."

"sorry really should spend more time but something more hpish is in the next edition lol" said i

[Asphodel]

Don't use nicknames, like Hermie. Use propper grammar and punctuation. Please don't use emoticons on your story. It makes your story seem unproffessional and hard to read.

[Phoenix in the Ashes]

Indeed. That way, even if it isn't awesome, then at least it looks really good. From what I've read the story isn't really all the terrible though, so keep it up.

[Asphodel]

Oh yeah, and try to make the characters seem like they are real. Would Harry ever say, "Hmmm... let's follow them!"?

[Phoenix in the Ashes]

Yes exactly. If you're going to use the names, it would definitely sound better if you tuned into the minds of the characters!

[harry_loves_ginny]

will be the best EVER!!! it has more hpish action... hmmm? can u stand the tension? not a very good one last time

[Asphodel]

It's pretty good, but, and I see this in all of your posts, people won't bother to read a story, no matter how good it is, if there is no proper grammar. I cannot stress this enough, break out your English textbooks and get cracking!

[Phoenix in the Ashes]

That's true.
If you're lucky though they may skim-read it. Nobody wants to spend half their time trying to figure out what a sentence means.

It could be tough though sometimes, you may just type something wrong in the process of writing very quickly.