Thanks hprocks!
Chapter 57: The Room of Requirement
My appointment with Healer Norlam was two days later. Professor Kendrick sent me an owl at brekkie. It was scheduled for seven in the evening.
The impending appointment distracted me the whole day which was kind of ironic since the whole point of me seeing Healer Norlam was to improve my grades. That wasn't going to happen if I couldn't pay attention.
At 6:45 I left the crowded common room and went to the Hospital Wing. It was mysteriously quiet and empty. Madam Pomfrey was scrawling on a piece of parchment at her desk when I entered.
"Hello, Amy," she set down her quill, "How are you? Did you have a good holiday?"
I nodded. "We went to Australia so it was fun."
"I'm glad," Madam Pomfrey smiled, "And how is your brother?"
"He's all right. He started Sterling's study the other day, but he's not taking any potions for the first two years."
"Well hopefully your parents will get some answers," she replied, "Healer Norlam is in the conference room," she gestured to a door next to the door to her study, "You can go on in."
I nodded again and walked over to the door. I had no idea what to expect. The only thing I knew about wizarding psychology was what Healer Norlam did with Matt. And I wasn't afraid of everybody so I doubted he would do anything like that for me.
There were a couple chairs in the conference room, one of which Healer Norlam was sitting in. He gestured to the one next to him and I sat down.
"Hello, Amy," he greeted me, "Have a good first few days back?"
"They were all right," I shrugged.
"Good," Norlam nodded, "Now I thought you could just use these sessions to talk about what's going on. You can tell me anything and I won't tell anyone."
"Even my parents?" I asked skeptically.
"Even your parents, unless you tell me something that endangers yourself or anyone else," Norlam clarified, "How about you tell me about some of the stuff you don't like about Hogwarts and perhaps we can do something about it."
I doubted there was much he'd be able to do since he wasn't a teacher, but if he really wanted to know, I'd tell him.
"Professor Washburn," I replied, "He's a real git."
Norlam smiled and shook his head a little bit. "My kids don't like him either. Unfortunately, I can't get him sacked."
I laughed. "Nobody really likes him. Not even the Slytherins and he favors them."
"Some people just are not cut out for teaching. It makes me wonder why he chose this profession," Norlam mused, "Anyway, what else do you not like about Hogwarts?"
"One of my roommates, Monica Kramer," I said, "She's a git, too."
"What don't you like about her?"
"She hates werewolves," I sighed, "She thinks they're all evil and what's really stupid is that she thinks it's their fault they became werewolves. Which is obviously not true."
"Of course it's not," Norlam agreed, "However, you seem to have stumbled across an issue involving social psychology. It's called the belief in a just world. People like to think that everyone gets what they deserve, mainly to reassure themselves that they won't get anything they don't deserve. It's part of why people are so reluctant to help others in need. They think those people deserve it. Most people like to believe the world is a just place, but some of us know it's not."
He could say that again. If the world was a just place, Matt never would have been bitten in the first place. But for someone to think that he did something to deserve that? That was ridiculous.
"A good portion of the people who don't like werewolves like to think they deserve the fate," Norlam said quietly, "That may be playing a role in Monica's thinking. That and I am sure she learned from her parents."
"I don't care why she hates werewolves," I muttered.
"I'm not trying to make excuses for her. I'm just showing you the psychology behind it."
"I just hate having to share a dormitory with someone who would hate my brother so much if she knew what he was," I said.
"That's just it. She doesn't know and she won't ever know," Norlam pointed out, "I think you'd do best to just ignore her."
"That's what I've been doing," I groaned, "That's all I do is ignore people. Her and Quinton Willinson, this Slytherin bloke who thinks he's best at potions."
"Is there anyone you get along with?"
"Yeah. Victoire Weasley is nice, but she's friends with Monica Kramer. It makes no sense because she's really good friends with Ted Lupin, whose dad was a werewolf. Ted is nice, too. So is his friend Landon Comer," I told him.
"Well that's a good sign. Try to spend time with them. If they're studying in the library, ask if you can study at the same table," Norlam said, "Now, our time is just about up, so I will see you next week."
I nodded as I got up. "Bye."
"Bye, Amy," Norlam smiled, "Remember, just ignore Monica. It's her loss that she's so prejudiced."
******
Monica proved to be much easier to ignore than she had been the previous term. Apparently she had spent a lot of time with her fifth year friends over the holiday and spent most of her free time at school with them and not in the dormitory. I noticed that Victoire spent more time with Teddy than her.
The teachers began to give us even more homework and give speeches on how important the end of the year exams were. I spent hours a day on homework, which was fine by me because I had to get my grades up anyway. Most of everyone else in my classes complained about it, though.
Ravenclaw played Hufflepuff in Quidditch at the end of January and I became convinced that the students and staff of Hogwarts were certifiably insane. The match was played in the middle of a raging snowstorm. I couldn't even see the players and have no idea how the Hufflepuff Seeker managed to catch the Snitch. I was frozen within ten minutes and sat in the stands shivering my arse off while the people around me shouted their lungs out. I thought Kendrick should have just postponed the match. When I asked Teddy why he didn't, Teddy shot me the most ludicrous look in the world and then laughed. He told me that Dumbledore canceled the end of the year exams more than Quidditch when he had been headmaster and Kendrick was of the same philosophy.
February brought another snowstorm that made it nearly impossible to go to Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures. Not that either professor actually canceled class. It was also bitingly cold. Colder than normal for February, according to Landon.
The next full moon came in the beginning of February and with it another night of insomnia. I bottled potions with Madam Pomfrey until she made me go back to my dormitory.
Mum and Dad sent me an owl the next morning, but I didn't have time to open it until lunch time. I was determined to find that room on the seventh floor again, so as soon as I shoveled down a quick lunch, I ran up there.
It didn't take long to find the portrait of Barnabas the Barmy, but there wasn't a door across from it. I groaned. Had I noticed the wrong portrait? Or was I simply going mad?
I paced back and forth, looking for the door. Maybe I had missed it. It couldn't be gone. Rooms didn't just disappear and reappear at random.
Or did they? I stopped again and there the door was. Right where I had been expecting it. I blinked and rubbed my eyes. It was still there.
I cautiously opened the door and peered inside. It looked exactly like it had the previous time. It was very strange.
I sat down on the little couch and ripped the letter open. It said the same thing it had the previous month. Matt wasn't any worse than he usually was after full moons.
Matt's birthday was in two days. Dad wrote that they weren't doing anything too exciting, just a dinner of his choice and a trip to Diagon Alley if it wasn't too cold. They didn't like him getting too cold before and after full moons.
There wasn't a Hogsmeade visit around his birthday, so I didn't have anything to get him. I figured I'd just send him some chocolate frogs whenever the next Hogsmeade visit was. The next one was on Valentine's Day, I thought.
After I finished reading the letter, I wanted to try and figure out what was up with the room. Unfortunately, afternoon classes were starting and I didn't have enough time.
I went back up to the seventh floor corridor as soon as classes were over for the day. The door was gone, but I hadn't expected it to be there. I began to walk back and forth because that's what I had done earlier.
I counted the number of times I passed the empty wall and by the third pass, the door appeared. It revealed the same room I had been in earlier.
It was kind of exciting. I was finding new parts of the castle! I left the room and turned away from it. The door disappeared. I paced again and it returned. Getting the door to materialize was so much fun that I did it over and over again until I was convinced that pacing in front of the wall three times was the way to get it to appear.
"Find the Room of Requirement?" someone laughed.
I froze and turned to look down the corridor. Ted was leaning on the wall with his bag slung around his shoulder.
"Er, what?" I asked.
"The Room of Requirement," Ted said as he walked towards me, "It's this room that will give you what you want. All you have to do is think of what you want while you pace three times in front of the wall and the room will look like what you want. Although it doesn't give you food."
"Wait, so it gives you what you want?" I raised my eyebrows, "Every time I've done it the room looks the same."
"You must want the same thing each time," Ted laughed, "Watch."
Teddy thought for a second and then began to pace in front of the wall. The door appeared and Teddy gestured for me to go with him. He opened the door and I gasped.
The room was an exact replica of the Gryffindor common room, down to the very last red poofy pillow. The only difference was that it wasn't filled with Gryffindors. Teddy and I were the only ones there, obviously.
"Wh-what?" I gaped.
"See, gives you anything you want, besides food," Teddy grinned.
I grabbed his arm and pulled him out the door. I had to check this out myself. Anything I wanted? I closed my eyes and paced three times in front of the wall.
Teddy was still grinning when I opened my eyes and the door reappeared. I vaguely wondered how he figured the room out, but was more interested in whether it was really going to give me what I wanted.
I took a deep breath and opened the door. I froze in the doorway. There it was. My bedroom from Australia. Exactly as I remembered it. Dirty clothes on the floor, crumpled parchment on the desk, bed unmade. Just the same.
I walked slowly around the room, touching everything to make sure it was real. It was surreal. I felt like I was in a fog. It was the strangest thing to be back in my bedroom, but know that I was in Hogwarts.
"Er, what is it?"
I jumped and looked towards the door. Teddy was standing in the doorway, looking curiously around at the room.
"It's my bedroom from Australia," I whispered.
"Seriously?" Teddy asked, "It's huge."
"We had a big house," I said, thinking how much of an understatement that was.
"See, it does give you anything," Teddy grinned.
"I guess so," I said quietly, "Oh, do you know if anyone can get in here if someone else is in here?"
"Nope, that's what's so great about it," Teddy said, "You can be really secretive in here."
Hogwarts suddenly seemed so much better than before. I had a place I could go to get away from everyone if I needed to. I could almost go back to my house in Australia.
"Well, I'll see you later," Teddy said as he left the room.
"Bye, and thanks for showing me how the room works," I replied.
I stayed in the room until dinner and went back after. I did my homework there and realized that I got so much more accomplished there.
******
Matt's birthday came and went and I wasn't that upset that I missed it. I always missed his birthday in Australia, so it wasn't any different missing it in England. It was just weird to think that he was nine already. He seemed so much younger. I sent him a letter and told him I'd get him something the next time I went to Hogsmeade. Mum sent me a letter telling me that they just had a birthday dinner and never went to Diagon Alley because it had been so cold that day.
The next Hogsmeade visit was on Valentine's Day, as I had expected. It was a bitterly cold day, but there was hardly any wind, which was odd. I was happy about it, though, because I was considering not going if it had been windy.
Since it was Valentine's Day, a lot of people paired off and went to Hogsmeade on dates. Teddy went with some Ravenclaw, which surprised me since it was so obvious that he and Victoire should go out. Monica went with a seventh year Slytherin, which didn't surprise me. She should have been in Slytherin.
I went straight to Honeydukes and began to look around at all the candy. There was so much of it that I couldn't decide what to get. I usually got Matt chocolate frogs, but I was thinking of getting him something different.
"Amy?"
I turned away from a display of Every Flavor Sugar Quills and saw Victoire standing behind me.
"What are you up to?" she asked.
"Getting a birthday present for my brother," I replied.
"Oh how old is he turning?"
"Nine," I said as I chose the chocolate flavored Sugar Quills.
"Two of my cousins are turning nine this summer," Victoire told me.
"What are you up to?" I asked. I had no idea why she was talking to me, except maybe that Monica was too busy on her date.
"Just wandering around. I was just walking around the village but then when I was up near the Shrieking Shack, Quinton Willinson found me and asked if I wanted to go with him to Madam Puddifoot's."
"Ew," I grimaced, not sure which was worse, Willinson or Madam Puddifoot's.
"Yeah," Victoire giggled, "So I came in here. Listen, do you want to study for that Charms test together?"
"Sure, I guess," I shrugged, "What about Monica?"
"She doesn't really study much anymore," Victoire sighed, "She just hangs out with her other friends."
If that meant she wouldn't be in the dormitory, that was fine by me. "Let me just buy these and then go send them off."
"Sure, I'll meet you in the library," Victoire said and left the shop.
I bought the Sugar Quills, still amazed that I had someone to study with. I hadn't really studied with anyone in over a year. Sure, I'd studied near people, but never with anyone.
The wind was picking up as I walked back to the castle and I was grateful that I wasn't staying in Hogsmeade longer. I stopped by the Owlery and sent Matt's present off with a letter I had written earlier.
I hoped Victoire was somewhat good at Charms because I didn't have the slightest clue how to perform mood altering charms. I knew Cheering Charms because I'd done them in my third year, but the rest I was clueless about.
The library was filled mostly with younger students, but I found Victoire at one of the back tables, books and papers already cluttering it. I dumped my own books down next to hers and sat down.
"Get your present sent off?" she asked.
"Yup," I nodded, "So do you know how to do any of these charms?"
"Not really," Victoire sighed, "Charms has always been hard because Washburn's a git. He's been like this the entire time I've been here. You're lucky you had three years of Charms in Australia; it was probably better."
"Yeah, my Charms teacher was nice," I replied. So it wasn't only me having issues with Charms.
"I just really need at least an E on my O.W.L. since I want to become a Healer," Victoire explained, "Do you know what you want to be?"
"Nope," I shook my head. I hadn't given that the slightest thought.
"Well you've got time to figure it out. Teddy doesn't even know and he's older than us," she told me.
"I guess we'd better get started," I sighed as I opened my book, "We can just try the charms on each other. Want to start with the Anger Charm?"
"Sure," Victoire agreed.
We went through all the charms that were on the test until we were exhausted due to the constant changes in emotions we went through. I liked the Giddiness Charm, but Madam Pince quickly performed the countercharm on both of us since we were laughing too loudly for her liking. The Depression Charm, which was said to be a little bit like encountering a Dementor, was horrible because it made me think of when Matt was in that coma.
"Now we just have to hope we can do them tomorrow in front of Washburn," Victoire said as we walked back to Gryffindor Tower.
"I hate doing spells in front of him," I groaned, "I wish some other teacher could test us."
"The good thing is that we get Ministry examiners for the O.W.L.s," Victoire told me.
"Really? That's good," I said. I hadn't been thinking much about the O.W.L.s, but not having Washburn give the examination was relieving.
"Hey, Victoire, Amy!" someone shouted from behind us.
I turned around and saw Teddy running towards us. His date must have ended.
"What are you two up to?" he asked.
"Studying for Charms," Victoire replied, "How was your date?"
"Eh," Teddy shrugged, "She was kind of whiny and annoying so we decided to end it. Anyway, you might be interested in knowing that Ben is sneaking Fever Fudge into tonight's dinner down in the kitchens."
Victoire groaned. "Benedict Weasley! I'm so going to get him. He's already gotten in trouble too much this year. If he gets in anymore trouble Mum's going to flip."
"Aw, he's just having a little fun," Teddy grinned.
"Madam Pomfrey won't think it's funny," Victoire said, "Come on, let's go find him. I'll see you later, Amy."
"Ok, see you," I stifled my laughter. Ben must have been her little brother. I guess Victoire didn't really approve of his mischief making.
******
"What's that?" I pointed to the potion Madam Pomfrey was screwing the cap on. I had just walked into the hospital wing for my session with Norlam.
"Skele Grow," Madam Pomfrey shuddered, "A very unpleasant potion to re-grow bones. I've only had to do it a handful of times, but it's awful each time. Somehow a boy's bones in his left index finger vanished during Charms a little while ago."
"Re-grow the bones?" I gaped.
"Yes," she nodded, "It's possible to do it, but it's painful."
It definitely wasn't something I wanted to have done to me. I suppose it would be better than going through life without bones, though.
"Healer Norlam is already in the room, you can go on in," Madam Pomfrey told me.
Meeting with Healer Norlam had gotten to be a regular thing for me. It didn't even seem like therapy. It was nothing like what he did with Matt. We just talked about everything that was going on at school and home.
Norlam kept me updated on what my parents were doing with Matt. He couldn't tell me everything because of confidentiality, but he did tell me that they were beginning to treat him more like an older kid than a little kid. Apparently he had chores now and Mum didn't go running for every little thing. She didn't always drop everything and run at top speed to him when he cried, except around full moons of course. I didn't think she'd ever not baby him around full moons.
"How are you today, Amy?" Norlam asked when I sat down, like he usually did.
"Good," I replied, "Just been doing a lot of homework."
"Well, that's not something I'm going to complain about," Norlam smiled, "Homework is important."
"Victoire and I have been studying Charms together and we both got Acceptable on our last exam, which is amazing for Washburn's class," I told him.
"I'm glad to hear it," Norlam replied, "You and Victoire seem to be getting along."
"Yeah," I said, "We study and stuff."
"Do you ever do anything with her besides studying?" Norlam asked.
"No, not really,” I shrugged, “She's still friends with Monica, even though they hardly do anything anymore.”
“I see,” he replied, “Perhaps you could eat lunch or dinner with her.”
“She always sits near Monica, even if they don't actually talk,” I sighed, “And I like ignoring Monica.”
Norlam chuckled. “That's probably a good thing. However, if Victoire is ever not eating with Monica, you could sit next to her.”
“I guess,” I shrugged again. I liked studying with Victoire. It was nice to have someone to study with again. I really didn't want to ruin it by making Monica angry which would then in turn cause Victoire to no longer study with me.
“Well, you think about it,” Norlam said, “Now, I'd like to discuss a theory with you.”
“A psychology theory?” I asked.
“Yes,” he smiled.
“About me?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said again, “Which is why I want to discuss it with you, if that's all right.”
“Sure,” I shrugged.
“Your parents have told me how hard it was for you to keep your brother's lycanthropy a secret from Olivia while in Australia,” Norlam said as he folded his hands together, “Best friends confide everything in each other, but you were not able to tell Olivia your biggest secret. That was hard, wasn't it?”
I nodded. It had been one of the hardest things I'd ever done in my life. I'd come so close to telling her so many times. Just the thought of it depressed me.
“Now, here you are in Britain, facing the same situation,” Norlam went on, “You have new friends. Teddy and Victoire. Yet, you are not nearly as close to Victoire as you are to Olivia or Kenzie.”
“Well, we just met,” I pointed out.
“You've told me before that you and Kenzie have been friends since you were toddlers. That you and Olivia were best friends within the first week of school,” Norlam smiled, “You don't have as difficult a time making friends as you think you do.”
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. It was true that I had two very good friends, but other than Olivia and Kenzie, I didn't have any other close friends in Australia. How could I possibly be considered someone who didn't have trouble making friends?
“But now, you have known Victoire for a few months, but you don't seem particularly close. I agree that Monica remains an obstacle, but I think there is something else, which is where my theory comes in,” he paused, “It is my opinion that you are trying to avoid becoming close to anyone here because you don't want to have to keep any secrets from close friends anymore. Unintentionally, of course.”
It took me a few minutes to grasp what he was saying. Norlam was quiet during those few minutes, as if he was waiting for me to process his theory. Then it hit me. Like Petrificus Totalus to the chest. That was what I was doing.
I swallowed hard. I didn't want to keep anymore secrets. I didn't want to have to lie to anyone anymore. I didn't want to make excuses for why my brother was sick all the time or why I anxiously awaited letters from home every month.
I had no problem keeping Matt's lycanthropy from acquaintances. Never had the urge come along to tell it to Willinson or Laney Hall. Monica was an exception. I didn't really want her to know about Matt, exactly, I just wanted her to understand what he went through. Teddy was an exception as well. His dad had been a werewolf, therefore he might understand what I was going through. Victoire as well. Her dad had been attacked by a werewolf. An untransformed one, but still. Actually, Hogwarts was full of exceptions. The only person in Australia whom I wanted to tell had been Olivia.
“I. I think you're right,” I whispered.
“I know it's hard, but you've got to accept that you won't be able to tell any of your friends about your brother. You can't go through life keeping everyone at a distance either,” Norlam said quietly.
“I guess I just almost thought that I could tell Victoire eventually,” I said, “She's different than Olivia. Her dad was attacked by an untransformed werewolf for Merlin's sake. She wouldn't hate Matt because of lycanthropy. Teddy's the same way. His dad was a werewolf. He wouldn't care either.”
“That is something you'll have to discuss with your parents,” Norlam told me.
“I know,” I said, “I don't want to tell them yet, just someday, maybe.”
Norlam nodded. “Well, our time is up for today. We can talk more about this next week, if you'd like.”
I nodded and got up. I left the hospital wing still a little shocked by Norlam's theory and how accurate it really was. Telling Teddy and Victoire about Matt was not an option, at least not now. But neither was shying away from anyone who wanted to be my friend.