The Snape Files

[Deedra Malfoy]

If you don't write more, we will have serious issues.

[Deedra Malfoy]

I have this strange feeling you people are ignoring me.

[Brandi Wood]

I love it.

MORE, MORE, MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Quicksilver]

I'm sorry to say I completely forgot about this website.
Of course I'll write more! Two more actually.

DAY 3

Thats it. If we want him to smile we shouldn’t be pulling pranks on Snape himself.

You just discovered that now?

Shut up. Although I must say, the other teachers got a laugh out of it. It was one of our more brilliant pranks if I do say so myself.

Quite quite. Yup Yup. Uh huh. I think we should’ve done that a long time ago…simply spiffing.

Maybe we should try it some other time, on a different teacher. One that could appreciate our creativity.

Dumbledore?

Maybe………

TEST SPECIMEN: SEVERUS SNAPE
MATERIALS:

1 pink raincoat
1 pair flippers
1 kilt
1 ducky float tube
1 old mans fishing hat with hooks.
A ‘no casting’ spell


PROCEDURE:
First and foremost, we had to wait until test subject ‘git nose’ was asleep, wouldn’t want to be caught.
Next, make sure that we can perform the ‘no casting spell’. This spell helped make sure that Snape wouldn’t be able to conjure clothing or transfigure things into clothing or summon clothing. (This is very important)

Then, Fred banished all of Snapes robes, undergarnments, the whole enchilada into the Great Hall. Excellant work if I do say so myself.

Why thank you. And you did an absolutly corking job at changing his nightclothes by magic. Where did you learn that spell anyway? . So our Potions mater woke up wearing a kilt, a ducky floatation device, and old mans fishing hat, and flippers.

And, scince he didn’t have any clothes, he was forced to march into the Great Hall to fetch bis clothes wearing that ridiculous attire.

I saw Sprout fall off her chair laughing. McGonagall was hysterical.

Yes, I don’t think that anyone, including the great Marauders ( may they prank forever) would have been able to pull one like that.
Yes lovely loud laughter like lackeys living like larks. Hee Hee Ho Ho Ha Ha Higgledy Hoohaa.

Ladies and gentleman, Docter Seus has left the building.

CONCLUSION:

I think that we must no longer trick Snape, no matter how satisfying it is, if we want to achieve our goal. Luckily Lupin’s still here. He hates him.


Or maybe Harry. He would forgive us, it’s for a good cause.

True True. Lets get to work on it immediately.

[Quicksilver]

DAY 4

Pttb. Ppure and simple. We didn’t even get caught. We should try thatagain sometime…..

I think we’re the only one to ever try and pull one on McGonagall

Nonsense. She’s so much fun when she’s angry. Did you see her yelling?
You don’t think we went a bit overboard do you?

Perhaps. We didn’t get a smile thoguh. Nezt time don’t make It look like Snape did it.

Indeed.

MATERIALS
-1/3 (or however much it takes) cups of beetles
-1 bucket with screen lid
-Cornish Pixies(we learned something in that class Lockhart)
-Our new invention Beast Books
like trick wands these wonderful tomes of literature transfigure themselves into vermin such as rats, mice, chincilla’s, snakes,
or Filch
nah, too gross-Biting teacups
-Mr. Fix its guide to destroying furniture! Unbreakable toys are good for breaking other toys

PROCEDURE
1. We snuck intot he teachers lounge when we were supposed to be in History of magic
He won’t miss us

2. Loosen the screws in McGonagalls highly prized muggle reclining chair according to page 45 of Mr. Fix it’s guide.
You do realise we shall cease to exist if she ever discovers that we were the culprits.
Why should she ever find out? She thinks Snape did it!
He didn’t
Who’s side are you on Forge?

3. Switch her romance novel with a beast book

4. Secure the Pixie bucket above the chair

5. Hide in the secret passageway behind the tapestry of…….I don’t know. What’s it a picture of anyway?
I don’t know, it’s an ugly thing, quite gaudy and green orange and purple.
Thats the one. And wait for the sound of a shreik

6. When she screams, it means that the book has sucesfully turned into a ferret
Rat
Rat. She will jump back in a womanly attempt to get away from it. The chair will give way and she’ll fall over, tightening the string previously tied to it and looseing the bucket of Cornish pixies

RESULTS
The Pixies wreaked havoc, caused mass chaos, and other Weasly like activities. They pulled McGonagals hair...
there goes our theory that its a wig
stole her wand, found her romance novel under Snapes chair, all sortsof stuff. Snape was swatting about like a madman until he managed to do a proper Freezing Charm.

After the pixies were returned to the bucket, Mcgonagll blamed Snape, called him’childish’ and took 10 points from Slytherin for having an’incompetant Head of House’
He didn’t smile.
He didn’t laugh
We didn't get 50 points
Oh well, back to the drawing board George ol chap.

[JessicaMalfoy]

I LOVE THIS VERY FUNNY! Fred and George oops I mean Gred and Forge are great!

[Enchanter]

this is great

[lucill]

This is so funny!!! Please continue!!!

[TheAmazingBouncingFerret]

Weeeee! It's sooooo funny!

[molli]

oh my goodness!!!! that was brilliant, quicksilver!!!

[Meg Boyd]

keep going, that was some first rate, grade A stuff

[Quicksilver]

*bows before the Great All-Knowing All-Pranking Weasly Twins*

OOOOOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMM........

[Deedra Malfoy]

*wanders in*

ooh, keep going!

[Ravenclawsweety]

LOL!!!

[Neilwolf]

Hello, QS

Abso-F'ing-lutely BRILLIANT! Do keep it up. Possible suggestion:

DAY 5 (6?): Enlist Harry or Sirius' help. Especially Sirius as he has
a special place in his heart for Snape. NOT! Just a thought We like?