Who would you date in Harry Potter?

[Ms. Elsewhere]

hahahah!!!!!

I think i would like to write one where she gets all obsessed with Snape!

Professor Snape had just released his students from his class after holding them back for yet another display of incompitence. It was disturbing how he could sleep at night allowing students to graduate with such a dim understanding of the delicate art of Potions. Muttering to himself, he stared to organise his desk before closing up the classroom for the day. As he did so, something caught his eye and nearly made his stomach turn. It was very large, and very pink. Professor Umbridge was sauntering into the classroom with one of her clipboards, a dreamy look on her face, and that annoying giggle escaping from otherwise pursed and sealed lips. She approached his desk.

"Professor, I have just come down, as I have done with so many other of your collegues.." she paused, lookign for a moment exhausted ,and then returned to her dreamy cheery nature. "...to test your skills in your chosen area of expertise. I wonder if you could make this potion for me?" she put her clip board down and turned it so that the writing was upright for Professor Snape to read. He scanned the paper with a bored expression. Only his eyes lifted to acknowledge her request.

"This is a complicated potion. And you plan to test it yourself?" he asked, his eyebrows raised.

Professor Umbridge stood up straighter. "I do." she said matter-of-factly. Snape knodded and set about gathering the ingredients and tools necessary to make the potion. Within twenty minutes, the potion was brewed.

"Impressive timing. But are you sure that it will be effective?" Professor Umbridge chimed. Snape held back an irritated groan.

"Only one way to be sure." he said ,and poured a servign of the potion into a vial. He passed it to the Professor, who first took a sniff, and then, watching Snape, drank the whole potion in one gulp. She closed her eyes and waited. Then she opened them and looked at Snape.

"I feel... different..." she swooned for a moment. Then with a look of recognition on her face she stared at Snape and tried to collect herself before nearly falling to the floor. Snape moved quickly around the desk, his cloak whipping behind him. He grabbed her shoulders but she would not look at him. She closed her eyes and turned her head away.

"You know what it is?" he asked her quietly. She knodded. Snape's mouth formed into a satisfied snarl. "Then I guess I failed your little test. But if you would just look at me.." he turned her face to him now and her eyes fluttered open. " YOu will find that I am exactly what you are looking for." he paused, watchign her the emotion behind her eyes change to admiration. "In a Potions master that is." he released her, and she swooned again, staring at him love struck. He looked at her with disgust. "Leave here now." he scoffed. Professor umbridge skippd out of the room like a child on the playground. If he were not Professor Snape, the man would have laughed. The potion would wear off in 24 hours.

***************************

Harry was annoyed to be called to Umbridges office at such a late hour. She had taken over the school as was seriously taking every liberty. He reached the door of her office and knocked. Entering the room, he was so shocked with what he saw, he thought perhaps it was a terrible nightmare. All over the walls were pictures of Professor Snape. They had replaced the little cats she had there before. She was on the floor, her hair was a mess, her eyes were black and puffy from crying and her hands were black too from ink. The floor was littered with parchments that had been written on and scrunched up. She looked up at Harry and a look of hope replaced her look of dispair.

"Oh harry! yes, yes.. you can help!" she dragged him to the floor and put a quill in his hand and some paper. "You know the perfect thing to say to someone you love. Please... waht shall I write? You see..." she said, leaning close to Harry, her breath smelled sweet like some kind of cherry drink. "I have never ever felt this way about anyone before. I am actcually a very picky person.. " she smiled to herself and rolled her eyes. "But I can't stop thinking about Professor Snape! what shall I do???" she grabbed Harry by the robes and pulled at him. Harry tried to unpry her hands, but it was useless. He spoke instead.

"Professor, you're ... you can't mean... Professor Snape.. that you ... did you say you like him?"

"I love him! I can't live without him. But I can't go and see him.. he has expelled me from his presense!!!" she wailed. Harry couldn't help but smile at the display of emotion. She was obviously under the influence of some kind of spell. harry decided it would be fun to exploit it.

"Wait here." he said, and gently pushed Umbridge away from him. He stood up and left the room, hurrying back to Griffindor tower where he woke up Hermione and Ron.

"You're not going to believe this, but Snape has put a love spell on Umbridge." Harry confided.

"Are you sure?" Hermione yawned.

"Bloody Hell..." said Ron. "That's brillant! But why would he do that?"

"I don't know! But dont' you think it would be fun to send Umbridge back to him? i don't know how long it will last, and it would be great to see Snape's little prank backfire." Harry looked from Hermione to Ron.

"I'm going back to bed, u are evil, Harry Potter." Hermione groaned.

"I'm in. What's the plan?" Ron said, leaning in closer.

**********************************

Professor Snape was sound asleep in a self induced dreamless slumber when something woke him. The room was very very dark, as he liked it, but someone was there. He reached for his wand. "Lumus!" he called out. His wand lit up, and revealed the intruder. He groaned. "Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?" He was embarrassed to see she was wearing some sort of see through nightgown. He rolled his eyes. This was not good.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you! Please, don't reject me! YOu are my first love! I have never felt like this before!" Umbridge started to walk forward, her arms out to him. Snape pulled his blanket up a bit more.

"Nore will you feel this way again. Come. Let us have a drink." he pushed his blankets off and stalked over to his cupboard where some vials were kept. He took out two cups and then started to look for the right mixture. Before he could get organised, he felt Umbridge tap him on the back. He turned around and looked down. She was impossibly short. She looked up at him adoringly.

"couldn't you just, hold me for a little while? " she chimed. Snape stared at her. She smiled sickenly. He reached out and patted her on the shoulder. He turned to continue making the drink but she wrapped her arms around him, pinning his arms to his sides.

"Oh I love you! I love you!!!" she stared to scream. Snape could barely remove her from the grip. He bumped into the cabinet and sent several vials crashing to the floor. He cursed.

"Woman, look what you made me do!" he yelled, shrugging out of her hold. She stepped back, her hands still out, her face stricken.

"I'm so sorry!" she ran for him again, and held him. He stood there as limply as he could. She sobbed into his night shirt.

In the corner, Ron and harry snickered under the invisibility cloak.

"Look, it's okay. Here, sit on the bed." he brought her over to the bed and set her down. She gathered up the blankets and brought them to her face, breathing them in. harry almost fell over. Ron whispered. "They must stink!!! He never bathes!" Umbridge sighed and fell back dreamily onto the pillows. Snape raced over to the cabinet again and pulled out the appropriate vial; the same potion he had made her before, only when taken a second time, would reverse the effect. A moment later he was back on the bed, wrenching Umbridge up and putting the steaming cup in her hand. He held another cup in his hand; a placebo.

"Er.. to us. " he said, and tapped the cups together. Umbridge smiled and with excitement crossed arms with Snape, pushing her cup to his lips and drinking from his cup instead. Snape was so surprised he almost inhaled the potion. He choked and sputtered, but it was too late. The rest of the potion fell to the floor and the cup smashed. Umbridge shrieked.

"Oh no! Please don't be mad!" she took his hands and the look on her face was pure horror. Snape seemed unsteady, and swooned a bit before falling to his side onto the bed. "Oh no! Dearest! What's wrong?!" Umbridge leaned in to get a closer look at Snape. He sat bolt upright, seemingly possessed. He turned to look at Umbridge and his expression changed from his usual hardened one to one that was, well, entirely creepy. Umbridge seemed to appreciate it though, and she jumped on him and stared to kiss him. Much to Harry and Ron's disgust, Snape reciprocated.

"Ewww!!! I didn't sign up for this!" Ron whispered.

"Let's get out of here." Harry whispered back. When they were sure the two professors were not looking, they snuck out the door.

Back at Griffindor tower, Ron scowled at Harry. "I hope you're happy. I'm scarred for life now." Ron fell back on his pillow and punched at it, trying to push away the horrible images of Snape and Umbridge.

******************************

the next morning at Breakfast, Snape and Umbridge sat at their usual places at the front staff table.

"Seems to have worn off?" Ron asked harry.

"Maybe." Harry said, trying not to observe too obviously.

"Well there is such a thing that only lasts 24 hours. When did Snape take the potion? " Herimone sat down with the boys and offered her expertise.

"I don't know. Midnight?" Ron ventured.

"Right. They are still at it then." Hermione pointed, and the others looked. Umbridge had just suttly blown Snape a kiss. And Snape had caught it. Ron nearly flipped his bowl of porridge.

"What have we done? " he said, his face pale and bleak.

"Don't worry, they'll be over each other as soon as the potion wears off. Besides.."Hermione looked up at them and shrugged " it's kind of cute."

"Cute? You're really sick Hermione." Ron groaned and tried to shield his eyes when Umbridge started to flutter her eyelashes at Snape.

"Well, at least it will keep them busy so we can sort out what to do about.............." and so Harry, Hermonie and Ron stared to plan their next adventure in order to bring the story back to the original plot line.

(oh my gosh... I went overboard there!!!! Must bring it to fan fic ...)

[GryffindorAnimagus]

I would date Sirus! I also think that Fred and George would be fun to hang out with because they would make sure that everyone was having a good time.