Things the HP Gang would never say

[Quicksilver]

Voldemort: Harry! *[/i]eeire Darth Vader noise*[/i] I am your father!
Harry: Cool, can you lend me some money?

JKR: Scince all my fans have been so patient, I'm releasing the 5th book early!



Harry-"Sir, there are other things I want to know, if you can tell me. Things I'd like to know the truth about."

DD- "YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU CAN"T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"


Voldemort- I'm a Covergirl!

Snape: When you're happy and you know it wash your hair!


Snape: Hush clas, I can't hear my soap operas!

Mrs. Figg : I like cats, they taste like chicken

Flitwick What ever happened to my growthspurt?

[Shadow]

Hermione: Ron, I don't understand this. Can you help me?

(Harry gets a question wrong in potions)Snape: No, I'm sorry, that is incorrect. You are the weakst link. Good-Bye!

Hermione: No Ron, you're saying it wrong. It's not levios-a it's *starts to sing* supercalifragalisticexpealadoshis

[Shadow]

(This one is like one that my sister did for LotR. Of course, I have made it so it goes with Harry Potter)

Voldemort to Harry: Luke, I am your father.

Harry: Okay, thais can't be, because first of all, my name is Harry, not Luke, and second of all, you blew my father up about 11 years go.

Voldemort: Ahh, but you have no proof that I killed your father.

Harry: Oh, but I do. You see, we had a security camera at one time, and Dumbledore was smart enough to make a video of it.

Voldemort: Drat! [i:2bt85hoa]turns to another kid[/i:2bt85hoa] Luke, I am your father.

Kid: Dude, my name's not Luke!

Voldie: Drat! [i:2bt85hoa]finally finds Star Wars and Luke Skywalker[/i:2bt85hoa] (to Luke) Luke, I am your father.

Luke. Okay, I am really confused now, because the guy over there wearing that freaky loking black costume just told me that [i:2bt85hoa]he[/i:2bt85hoa] was my father, so maybe you two should talk.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Shadow on 2002-07-19 18:54 ]</font>

[ermintrude2003]

Fred: Practical jokes just arn't funny any more!
George: I know lets go help Percy on his report on Couldron Bottoms!

Harry: Thats it i cant be bothered to play Quidditch any more i might let Draco win for a change!

[Shadow]

[i:1hm295d0]Harry speaks password for Gryffindor[/i:1hm295d0]

Fat Lady: None shall pass!!

Harry: But I have to get into my common room

Fat Lady: I am the knight that says Ni! Ni! Ni!

Harry: [i:1hm295d0]at the word ni[/i:1hm295d0] Ahh! don't say that!

Fat Lady: Ni!

Harry: Ahh!

Fat Lady: Ni!

Harry: Ahh!

Fat Lady: You shall not pass until you get me a shrubbery!

[i:1hm295d0]Harry leaves and returns with a shrubbery[/i:1hm295d0]

Harry: Here is the shrubbery you asked for.

Fat Lady: Fine, you may pass.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Shadow on 2002-07-30 21:16 ]</font>

[Quicksilver]

That was hilarious! Mind if I borrow it?

[Shadow]

No, go ahead.

[LadySnape]

Fat Lady: Does this dress make me look fat?
~~~~~~~
Quirrell: Severus... I... I...I...
Snape: Bite me, Quirrell. scr*w you and the horse you rode in on!
~~~~~
Okay, Snape might actually say that. It would be funny, that's why I posted it.

[Shadow]

(During Potions)
Snape: Mr. Malfoy, may I See you after class?

Draco: Sure Professor.


(After Class In Snape's office)
Snape: Just thought I'd let you know that Sponge Bob is on. Want to watch it?

Draco: Sure, I'll make popcorn!


(later)
T.V.[i:wzw1ait2]singing[/i:wzw1ait2] Oohhhh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Snape and Draco together: Sponge Bob Square Pants!

[i:wzw1ait2] Meanwhile Ron walks in with a question for Snape[/i:wzw1ait2]

Ron: Proffessor, I was wondering if-(see's Snape and Draco singing Sponge Bob at the top of their lungs)Ah, never mind.


(Back in the Gryffindor Common Room)
Ron: Harry! Hermione! YOu are not going to believe this, but I just saw Snape and Draco watching Sponge Bob and singing the theme at the top of their lungs!

Harry: Quick, get the camera!


(Harry, Ron, and Hermione have just arrived at Snapes office and start filming, right as the opening themem song is getting over.)

Snape and Draco:[i:wzw1ait2]singing[/i:wzw1ait2] Sponge Bob Square Pants! Sponge Bob Square Pants! Sponge Boooooooobbbbb Square Paaaannnnttttttsss!

(Snape and Draco turn around to see Harry, Ron, and Hermione there, filming them.)

Draco: Ahhhh! what are you doing here?! Are you filming us? Ahhhhhhhh!!!!

(Harry, Ron, and Hermione start to run as Snape and Draco run madly after them to get the tape and destroy it.)

[chrestomanci]

OMG!!! That was SO funny! Even funnier because I'm a Slytherin fan AND a Spongebob fan! Thanks so much for that!

[Quicksilver]

*Gigglez Honk Snort WHEEEEEEE!!! *

[Shadow]

U R welcome. My sister is helping me with a lot of these ideas.

[Gryffindor Student]

hate to be a downer on this but muggle devices like video cameras dont work within Hogwarts...no im not like Hermione she has just said it so many f***ing times anyone would remember... it was funny anyway....umm things they would never say.ummmm....
Draco: dressed in Britney Spears outfit singing* ./'Oops i did it again!./'
Harry: Draco....I'm sorry...
Hermione: Duhhh...I dunno
Ron: *staring at chessboard* uhh whats this little horsey thingy called again?
Snape: *Joining in with Malfoy singing Britney Spears* ./'I played with your heart, got lost in the game..oh baby! Baby!./'
Thats all i can think of right now...that wasmy first attempt at doing that so sorry if it sucked.

[Quicksilver]

Ron: *staring at chessboard* uhh whats this little horsey thingy called again?



That was fuuuuuny!

[the-rabid-chocobo]

lmao
it was hilarious