Hi everyone!
I absolutely love writing, it's definitely one of my passions, and it's what I want to do professionally after I graduate from college.
Here is a short story I wrote in regards to a just-for-fun writing competition on another site. It's called "April Showers", and it's based on the song "In the Sun" by Joseph Arthur. I'd love if you'd listen to the song either before, during, or after you read my story, to get a different perspective on things. Anyways, here it is, and enjoy!
April Showers
The cold drops sting against my bare cheeks as I trudge through the tunnel of my life. Raindrops like daggers, continuously piercing the skin, reminding me of all the hopelessness that surrounds. And as this black cloud hovers over me, I can only picture you, in the sun, and wonder what in the world went wrong.
Everywhere I look, there you are. In songs, in stories, in the stars in the sky. I'm caught in between what is and what used to be, and there's no escape. Not with the rain pouring down upon me, the very essence of your tears within each droplet. And all I can do is just picture you, in the sun, wondering what went wrong.
Oh, I so long for those days, me and you, in the sun. There was so much laughter, so much joy, so much...love. Love. It doesn't make any sense, how love can transform from something so beautiful and magnificent, something you never want to let go, and then just vanish in an instant, with one single mistake, one regret.
Regret, oh yes, that turmoil that seems to rule over my life, or at least what's left of it. Without you, it's not much. I know, you may not believe me, but it's true. In fact, I wouldn't blame you for not believing a word I say. I deserve this hatred. I deserve this restlessness. I deserve to live in this unforgivable pain for the rest of my entire life. But you? You never deserved any.
I keep hearing your voice reverberating throughout my insides. It's so soft, so sweet, like the glow in your eyes after the rush of a kiss, or the warmth of an embrace before our painful goodbyes. I never wanted to say goodbye. I never should have said goodbye. Now, I search every second, every breath of my life, for just one taste of the sun. But not just any sun. Our sun.
I've lost track of time since the incident. Has it been weeks? Months? It seems more like years, with time dragging on like a bad movie. I just want to walk out, to get my money back. But even so, nothing can erase the memory, nothing can erase the nightmare.
So why do I keep returning to this place, the place where I first knew of your existence, the place where your brilliant diamond eyes cut into my heart and carved your name, the place where that golden smile of yours tickled my skin, the place where the sun always reigned over our lives? Maybe it's just the fact that your perfume permeates the air, and it calms my soul. I slowly close my eyes, taking it all in, and still there you are, in the sun, as it always was, as it always was meant to be.
And, if only for a moment, the rain pauses, no longer terrorizes my skin, but instead fades away into the abyss. Slowly I open my eyes and glance towards the heavens, and there it is, the sun, the same sun that brought us together, the same sun that tore us apart.
I hear a rustling of leaves, and a twig snaps from behind. I turn around and can't believe my eyes. Was this a dream, like all the others? Or was it really you?
I wasn't going to take my chances. But as I took a step forward, you swiftly spun around and began to run away, away from me, away from everything. But I can't let you escape. Not this time.
“Elaine!” I scream at the top of my lungs, my voice hoarse and deep, but full of compassion, full of love.
You freeze mid-stride, and slow to a stop. I can already tell that you're crying, and the tears begin to fall once again like rain, a river of sadness, a river of despair.
It's when I realize I'm nothing more than the darkness in your life.
“Elaine,” I whisper, as I approach your trembling body. My hand reaches out to you, and you cautiously face me, the mascara already running down from your eyes like streams filled with nothingness. I reach to wipe away your tears, but you flinch, and take a step back. Finally, after all this time, after all these passing days of waiting, wondering, you speak.
“Blake,” your voice creaks, as beautiful as ever, but more morbid than I ever could have imagined.
“I...I can't.”
“But Elaine, I-” I protest, but your words cut into mine, a knife to my heart and soul.
“You what, Blake? What? Don't you think you've already ruined my life enough?”
“Look, I'm sorry!”
“Sorry just won't cut it this time.”
You begin to walk away, but I just can't let you go so quickly, not now, not ever. As I grab your hand to pull your tiny frame towards me, you reach to slap my face with more sting than anyone could imagine, but I pull you in closer, wrap my arms around you, and our lips touch with such intensity that the sun seems to burn down upon us like a lightning bolt igniting a blaze.
Eventually, you pull away. I can see that glow erupting from your eyes, that same glow that used to smile at me every time we touched, yet this time it's enveloped by sadness, confusion, darkness, pain.
“I...I love you, Elaine.”
You pause, speechless and immersed in thought. But I know what's coming before you even begin to open your mouth.
“Blake, it's done. I have to go.”
“Elaine, wait. Please, wait. I just want to know why.”
“But you do know why.”
And I do. The memories float back to me from that one night, the night I found out you were pregnant, with my child. I could have done so much more. But I walked away from the sun. I walked away from my life.
I was scared. I was young. But excuse after excuse could never forgive any of the pain I dealt to your beautiful soul that night.
And I realize that it could never be taken back. No matter how hard I try, things will always be the same.
Finally, I let you leave and watch as you're whisked down the street into the crowd.
But I have to know.
“Elaine, just tell me one thing before you go.”
She turns, and looks back over her shoulder, waiting for my response.
“What's it's name...the baby's?
“David. His name is David.”
A smile creeps across my face, and suddenly you're gone, gone forever.
But still I whisper into the air, hoping it will carry across the world to wherever you are,
“May God's love be with you, always, as is mine.”
And as the rain returns, it's no longer piercing, but comforting, a mask covering the hole in my heart.
I turn and walk in the opposite direction, not caring about my destination, simply walking for the sake of walking.
And that was the end, the end of us, but more importantly, the end of me.
That was the day, the day I walked into the blinding light, there to stay forevermore.