I did a stuuuuuuuuuuuuupid thing today. and i feel like such an idiot. in fact, i think i am an idiot. a really huge idiot. a moron.
the accounts guy came over to our quad of desks today and said that the cheque to the govt was wrong. this was a cheque that i had written up, and i was like "okay so is it over or under, cos i re-calculated that three times and the figures were right" and he said it was under by a certain number. So the numbers were 1,072,000 vs 1,163,000 approx. I said, "so you mean the govt owes us money and we have to get the cheque back and cancel it and write up a new one?" and he said "no, we owe them money" and i argued the point with him for a while, and he then threw his hands up in frustration. I suddenly realised I was looking only at the 72 vs 63, and said "Oh my gawd, i'm so sorry, don't pay any attention to me, i've had a really long day". and my supervisor went "anyone hear that? i think the penny just dropped".
Thing is, i didn't understand what was wrong in the first place, argued the point because it was the first time i had ever done that report & that cheque (and it's a huuuuuge report - takes about 10 days to do) and i was kind of protective of all the work i'd done. I think i made a really bad impression on the accounts guy (he's one of the managers), and i am worried that he's lost what little respect he had for a lowly team member like me in the first place. I feel sick to the stomach thinking about it. I don't really want this job, but until i find another one i can't afford to make these kinds of mistakes.
I feel as though everyone else around me is on some higher level of awareness than me. i feel so stupid. and now the accounts manager probably won't sign any more of my loss statements