My brother's stupid girlfriend!

[Won Wheezy]

Hi guys!
I am so p***ed off with my brother right now, I just need to write this down, hoping it will calm me down a little bit. Grrrrrrr!
My brother is 33 and I love him to bits, we are very close and have quite a lot in common too. BUT I don't know why he had to get himself such a shallow little cow of a girlfriend. They've been going out for about 5 months and she already moved in with him after 5 weeks or so! She is only 18 too, but that's not really my problem.
It started at my last birthday, which I usually celebrate with my brother cause his b-day is only one day before mine, on the 30th December. So we did a joined up birthday party on New Years eve, and his girl was there with a couple of her friends too. She really messed up my evening, she was rude and unfriendly to me all the time and I had not a clue what was going on! Afterwards my bro told me that she was jealous! Of ME! Because I get on so well with my brother, like we cuddled in front of her and she couldn't take it!
Then he explained to me that she has a very screwed-up family and she didn't understand that it could be so different. Ok, I am an understanding person, I told myself that she's a poor thing really and I'll just don't say anything about it anymore. Also he said that she felt really sorry for how she behaved and she was going to apologize. Well, she never did, and continued being rude to me, she wouldn't even greet me or smile at me.
So I started to avoid being at my brothers house, which I really hated but I couldn't help it. Then, about 2 weeks ago my phone rings and it's her, saying she doesn't like this situation right now and why don't I come for dinner (still no apology, really, but ok). So I did, cause I really wanted to get on with her, because I want my brother to be happy. That evening her sister was there too and I tried to be friendly and polite. But she was so annoying, I cringed every time she laughed (she has one of those silly artificial laughs, grrrr) and she would whisper to her sis all the time and then giggle like a little girl!
Anyway, me was trying to be nice, but I couldn't help disliking her. So, now yesterday I wanted to go out with my brother and have a laugh, just the two of us, as we haven't done it for ages. And she said she'd go out with her sister, and I was really happy to spend an evening with my brother. In the end she basically went after us all the time and dragging my brother off cause she obviously couldn't take it that he wanted to spend the evening with his little sister. I was left standing alone in a bar and I went home after a while, really fuming! That was so out of line from my brother, I'm really angry. And I dunno what to do, because I just know I can't get on with this stupid girl, she is just so immature and rude and silly. Grrrrrrrr, and I know I can't do anything about it, that's so bad.
Right, whoever read this to the end, thanks That was a long one. And if you have similar stories, please share them.

Take care

[TDM]

hmm...well, there are some people that you're just not going to like. but, it seems like she's kinda messed up to begin with. 15 years difference? that's kinda weird on this end of it. (of course, my aunt and uncle are 10 years apart, and he's younger, but that's not what i'm trying to post).

what you should probably do is confront her. maybe it'll shock her into being nice. but you also said that her family is not like yours, and maybe whispering so you can't hear is a sign of compassion in her family. most likely not, but it's a twisted theory to begin with. and no offense, but when a guy is really into a girl (trust me, i know) really good friends, and family that are really good friends (like you and your brother are) take a backseat most times. sorry, but in this situation, it just seems like you got the shaft. hope i helped in some way.

[Won Wheezy]

Yeh, thanks hun. I'm not gonna try to break them up or anything, I am not angry about losing the "pole position" It's only that I'm worried he might get hurt and also I don't know how to act around her, she makes me feel really insecure and out of place. So, I try to keep out of her way, really although I know that's not the right way either.
Anyways, I'll have to wait and be patient, cause I'm convinced it won't last too long. He himself says that she sometimes really annoys him and he doesn't understand why he still wants to be with her.
I asked him what he likes on her, and he meant that he likes to be the strong one in a relationship, the protective one. And of course, she is this naive, silly little girl who had a bad childhood and all. But it's hard to stand by watching when you know it's the wrong choice. But I will so no worries. But I don't think I can talk to her, she's such an arrogant little thing. I'm not good at that kind of stuff. But thanks for reading this hun.

[TDM]

sure, and i hope everything goes well for your brother, and you, and that no one gets too emotionally hurt in the process, because, face it, no matter what, someone's gonna get their feeling hurt, even if you stand aside and watch it play out.

[Krum]

i say LET HER BURN-if she's so stupid she should get in a fight with your brother sooner or later and she'll be really hurt and he'll be all right, i think.Because i doubt that they are really in love with each other-it's just an attack of your brother's hormones(after those hormones, the only thing thing keeping two people together is mutual respect-which i don't see in your case).

[Dumbledores Master]

Well try looking at it from her point of view, she has a messed up family right. Then she may be jealous of the relationship you have with your brother. Try to find out more about her,maybe take her out for a drink or something. And if she tries to make you feel inferior then just say you have to go to the toilet and leave her at the bar by herself. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth remember

[Won Wheezy]

Well, I do see your point. But it's not like I haven't tried just to be nice with her. But I'm not going to bother with someone who is just downright rude to me, you know? I'll just leave it and see what happens. As I don't see her that often it's ok for now, I was just annoyed that she wouldn't let me go out with my brother. I'm alright and if hes's happy, I'm happy for him. I don't have to be best friends with her.
Thanks for all your advice, you're great!

[Curiouser]

She ruined your birthday party?? That's low, man...

Have you tried seriousy telling your brother how you feel about this girl? If you two are (or were) really as close as you say, he would be a moron not to listen to you. Tell him and say that you are trying your best to get along with this girl for his sake. Hopefully he'll understand and maybe even get that girl to lay off for a bit.

Obviously she must be a whole different person around your brother, because I can't see why anyone would want to be in the same room with the girl you describe, much less live with her!

Of course if it were me, I would have punched her in the face by now...

[salemboy]

I know exactly what you mean when you talk about some rude little snot entering your life. It happens to me every time my little sister brings over a friend. You might be thinking, it's different, but actually, it's very similar. K, every time my sister brings over a friend, they automatically gain dominance over EVERYTHING!!! They're pigs, and they don't ask, they just take whatever they want, and they've vandalized the house. As for birthday, at least you had a party. I'd decided I'd be mature for my 14th birthday, and decided not to have a party, just wanting a peaceful, relaxing Friday birthday. Well, Friday for my little sister is synonymous with "Sleep Overrrrrrrrr." It didn't matter that it was my Birthday, she just had to have a sleep over. I hated her friends already, by the way. So, they sleep over, have complete control over the house, and my birthday stinks. I got a birthday cake, though, so that would have made of for it. It didn't though. I had one piece of cake, and so did my mom, my dad, and my sisters. We still had a decent amount of cake leftover. We put it in the fridge.

That night, while the family was sleeping, my sister's rotten little friends snuck downstairs, pulled out my cake, and ate the rest of it! MY CAKE!!! They ate almost all of it!!! The piece I had wasn't even big. It was TINY!!! And they ate my CAKE!!! I didn't want a party, none of that. I just wanted a nice, peaceful birthday, and STUPID LITTLE SNOTS HOGGED UP EVERYTHING, AND ATE MY CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry about that little rant, I'm still bitter about them ruining my birthday. It only happens once a year, you know. Still, I find that to deal with them, just forget trying to play nice. If that witch has been that bad to you all this time, just be rude to her every chance you get. Laugh in her face when she messes up. MAKE HER FEEL EVERY OUNCE OF PAIN YOU'VE FELT!!! Find something that irritates her, and do it every chance you get. Be relentless. Just don't attack her. You'll have the chance of being charged with assault. Make her real ticked to the point of two choices, leave, or attack you. Yes, you heard me when I said that second choice. While you might get a black eye, she'll get put in jail for a few days (It's called assault), and have that on her permanent record, making it harder for her to get a job. Last but not least, stay by your brother's side as often as possible, to remind her that she is not going to kick you out and that you are there to stay!

[FawkesthePhoenix]

wow. eating your cake? thats low.
but...... in your sister's defense (i myself am a little sister) try to see it her way. now, im not saying that eating your birthday cake wasn't extremely disrespectful and rude, but she must not be all bad. what exactly do you mean by, "dominating the house"? i remember when i was younger when i had friends over we always wanted to hang out in the basement. alone. i mean, would you really want spectators watching you and your friends play dress-up and tap dance around singing about an umbrella? (yeah, one of my friends seems to be facinated by my dance shoes) its a bit hard to imagine your in an enchanted forest while your brother is on the computer down there playing Age of Empires and hearing every word you say. (don't know if thats what your sis does when she has friends over, but the concept still applies) try giving them complete privacy in one of the rooms in your house (family room, basement, etc.) but hang out in the other rooms regularly. if your constantly in there, they won't want to be in there too.
about the cake matter, well, try putting an alarm on the fridge. jk.
maybe try mentioning cake a lot? it will make her feel guilty about what she did.

[DucksRMagical]

That stinks, salemboy! That's really rude of them to eat your birthday cake. At my house, the last piece of cake is always for the birthday person.

You make me laugh, Fawkes, with the Age of the Empires thing. But you know, the basement is the only place to play that. I get what you're saying about the one room thing. Salem, that is a good idea to let your sister have the run of one of the rooms during her sleepovers. Fawkes generally gets the basement during her sleepovers, especially since we share a room. She and her friends are usually nice about not screaming at all hours in our room while I'm trying to sleep.

[salemboy]

You have a basement? I wish I did. I'm not a fan of large spaces. I like nice enclosed spaces, and basements work best for me. I actually don't play Age of Empires. I'm more of a console person, and use computers to write my books, keep in touch with people (I despise all forms of phones), and come to BaO. That's besides the point. If I had a basement, I'd let them have free reign upstairs and just live downstairs. That's not to say I'm scared of heights. I love climbing trees. Anyway, thank you for the advice and I will take it to heart.

[DucksRMagical]

You don't have a basement? Come to think of it, I don't think I had a basement when I lived in Illinois. But anyway, we have a basement and it's finished, so it's just like another room to the house, a really big one at that.