any Parents out there?

[Barry Trotter]

ok i am going to be a dad to my best friends baby. it isn't biologically mine but i'm the closest male role model person.

I'm really really excited like i'm going to burst. I found out last night that Helen is Pregnant and i'm really happy.

I#m also really scared though. Is that normal? or is it because i'm not the baby's real dad?. oh no!! I don#'t know much about babys, just how to change and wash them, There is so much i have to learn i want everything to be just right for this baby.

what if i'm a cr*p dad? i haven't ever had a dad so i don't really know what to do. eek!

Sorry for waffling on a LOT you don't even have to reply i was just voicing worries for the first time.

AHh

[Gwared]

Just by the way you phrased that entire message gives off the obvious message that you'd make a great dad. No-one knows how to parent, strangely kids don't come with instructions!

But I can tell you'll love the kid and you'll be a great dad...congratulations .

[Hermy]

I'm not a parent, but I agree completely with Gwared, just from the way you are talking suggests that you will be a great Dad. I think having a "male role model" is so important to any child, regardless of whether they are actually the child's biological father.

I am sure it would be far better to have a Dad who is as excited about having a child as you are, than an actual biological father who does really want the child.

I think it is fantastic that you are supporting Helen through this and taking on a little baby. I am sure that every dad is in the same situation worrying about changing nappies and doing "the right thing", I would take this as being a good sign as you are actually thinking about all the things that you will need to be doing. (My other half is reluctant to feed the cat as his food smells!)

You will be an ACE Dad Barry!

P.S. So will you be going to ante-natal classes with Helen and practising breathing and all that?

[Barry Trotter]

well i suppose so
and pretty quick smartish

because i think she is about 3 months at the moment. and she ACTUALLY didn't know or even suspect. she'd thought she was missing periods because of stress etc she hasn't had morning sickness or ANYTHING but she was convinced she was getting fatter and couldn't think of anything else except OH MY GOD WHAT IF I'M PREGNANT so she took a test thing.

r*pe is such the worst thing in the world ever but something is going to come out of it that'll be SO GOOD. he he he later on this week Helen said that we can have an ultrasound. ( well she can it wouldn't be much good if i did). so i'll send you all a copy.

i wonder when you can tell if its a boy or a girl.....

hmmm....

i don't know if i'dwant to know.

thankyou for your nice words about me it has made a difference. phew we'll muddle through.

he he he i'll be her birthing partner "breath in and out"
cool.

[Hermy]

I am so excited for you! I am not sure when it is you can tell the s*x. You won't be able to from an ultrasound at this stage anyway! You will definately have to show us all a copy.
Have you any ideas for names yet?

Just think you'll be able to read HP to him/her as they get older!

Ooooh! I'd better be careful else I shall be getting all broody!

[Mint]

Oh wow!!!

Well, you have couple of month to go - so you may read some books.. 8) ..but the young fathers that I observed don't read anything, they just listen to the mother and try to help out....

I can only imagine how exciting it is for you Berry!! Good luck and keep us posted!!!

[Gwared]

Some doctors claim (and some probably can) that they can tell the s*x from an ultrasound but it's not very accurate...it's more likely that the pre-natal testing would be used to confirm s*x if the parents wished to know.

[Barry Trotter]

OHhhHHHHhh

i thought i could do an ultrasound now
its 3 months in i think i'll have to check it out

ohhhh names

Helen said she'd call it barry but LUCKILY i pursuaded her out of that one not a good thing.

hmmm
if it was a boy i don't know i like short names but then any name can be short

and girls
i like pretty names.

But its Helen's choice ultimately i'll just put some ideas forward

maybie i should post a thread in the great hall "Baby's names"

i'll send you the ultrasound pic asap but i'll have to email it to anyone who wants a look coz i don't know how to put it up anywhere.
maybe i'll try

hmmm

[gecko]

Barry, I asked my sister, and she tells me that you could see it on an ultrasound after approximately 20 weeks..

that is, if the ultrasound is a good one on which you can see those parts of the baby's body!

[Meg Boyd]

You'll be a great dad, I mean if every guy out there was this excited about having a kid, the world would be a better place...and good luck with your ultrasound, they are really neat to see...I mean just seeing the tiny life just beginning...*sigh*

[Just Mom]

Congratulations Barry! A real parent has seen your post... I have given birth three times so I hope I'm qualified to answer your questions and concerns.

You're interest and inquisitiveness alone will make your a wonderful father. I would highly recommend that you get your own copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting" because it is still probably the most informative book around. (and it's what Hugh Grant reads in the move 9 months.)

Helen's doctor may be able to tell the s*x of the baby by ultrasound after 20 weeks. If it's a girl, it will be harder to distinguish because both sexes, have swollen genitalia at that stage of development. However, if the ultrasound is clear, she's far enough along, and it's a boy, you'll definitely see "the turtle." That's what it looks like...a litte hump with a head, like a turtle sticking his head out of his shell. I've had two boys and they both showed up like that. My daughter, was more difficult to see and we couldn't tell for sure until the 3rd trimester.

Changing diapers, giving baths, getting through the first six weeks that are always a blur. If Helen nurses the baby she'll be doing it every two hours, and even if she doesn't, she still won't get much sleep until around 8 weeks. Almost all babies, even the ones without true colic, are "colicky" in the afternoons and early evenings. All three of my children cried non-stop from about 4pm to 7:30 each evening until around 4 weeks of age. GET A BABY SWING!!! These gentle rocking devices are invaluable. It just zonks them out every time.

Get the book I suggested and read, read, read and ask questions. Go to the doctor visits if you can, and watch those childbirth films but not too much "Maternity Ward" on The Learning Channel because you'll start getting scared at all the things that could go wrong!

Best of luck and let me know if I can help provide you with more information!

[Violet]

Congrats Barry, i'm not a parent and the only real experience of children i've had is through babysitting.
While that is nothing like having a baby full time i still had to look after her all day. At first i was really scared that i'd do something wrong, but i found that it was something i just got used to.
I'm sure that you'll love being a dad, best of luck.

[han lin]

congrats bazzaroo

i KNOW you will be a fantastic dad.

you are the most best dad material i can think of ( even if i could use propper english to say it)

good luck
han
x

[pinky p]

holy cow

i'm sure you'll be fantastic dad, barry! you're so enthusiastic and worried, i'd be worried if you weren't!

[Ju-DedoH]

being a dad, good on you !
I bet you'll cope with everything fine !
I don't want to sound like things wont work or anything (and I feel really bad asking this question in such happy moments for you, but maybe you're already wondering, so it could help). well here it is, you said that you will be dad to your "best friend's" child, to me, that involves lifetime commitment (I am still quite young, 19, so maybe I am an idealist, but anyway). So I am wondering if you think that you should be more than best friends ?
My parents didn't marry, and therefore couldn't divorce, but none the less, they separated and when I was younger, that was really hard even though there were'nt any complicated law stuff.
I hope this doesn't sound harsh, I am not saying that it is essential, but I hope you understand me the right way, and I hope this helps
good luck (maybe you wont need it)
best wishes